Heather - Well, at least you know that if all else fails you could always have (fill in the blank with an ex-boyfriend who shall remain nameless)
me - Oh, that's comforting.
Heather - He's kinda cute in a cuddly way.
me - Or in a "I used to be a rapist" way.

[Nad] hey val, it was hillarious last night
[Nad] this friend of chris's was over
[Nad] a girl
[Nad] and my dad called, and she answered
[Valdyr] LMAO
[Nad] my dad asked who it was
[Nad] i was like "Uh, hey, what's your name again?"
[Nad] my dad just said, "Nevermind Dumbass"

I keep forgetting that you can love someone and not have your whole life revolve around that...needing someone is actually really selfish, and love can be it's own validation if you let it.
I feel a lot better. :-)

The stupidest idea yet is that I thought I could deal with this while taking 20 credit hours and designing a few mainstages.
*sigh* I know now why I didn't want to let go of that sheild, and why Lisa might have the best advice I've heard yet...
:-)

So yeah...Lou sent me an autographed picture of Jay...
!!!!!!!!!!

I got told today that I have a beautiful mind. I think that's one of the nicest things that's happened to me in a while. It's promising to be an interesting semester...

To quote Madonna, I fell in love with a beautiful stranger. Johnnie, you may have met your match...but I hope not, because this is even less unlikely. *sigh*

* NadsPetCrab scampers off towards val's dorm
* Valdyr locks door
* NadsPetCrab crawls under the door DUH
* Valdyr climbs up on loft
* NadsPetCrab is crawling up the wall
* Valdyr hides under blanket
* NadsPetCrab is on vals' bed now
* Valdyr whips out a can of MASE
* NadsPetCrab is crawling up val's leg....
* Valdyr gets the fly swatter
* Valdyr kills the CRAB!!!!!!!!!
[NadsPetCrab] ack!!!
[NadsPetCrab] GAG
[Valdyr] I WIN!!!!!!!!
* NadsPetCrab flatlines --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nad] you know
* Nad doesn't have crabs

[grace] What's your most treasured possesion.
[d1beaaaach] my balls

[grace] Who was your biggest inspiration to be a singer?
[d1beaaaach] (Jay Gordon) Madonna - no seriously, my dog ��gh��g յt ��

[Valdyr] hey Nad, you should write your paper using crabs as a metaphor for death
[Nad] "On February 7th 2001, I said one stupid statement, and I now wish I was dead. It seems that crabs are not only an infestation of the testicles, but it also, when used figuratively, causes suicidal tendenciess in teenage males"

A few minutes ago, I received an email from my director about a church protesting The Laramie Project in Maryland. Because, obviously, God doesn't love gay people. I hope they come down here and protest our production of it too, because I have a thing or two to say about Christian hiprocrisy. Do you really think insult and death is an effective ministry? ORGANIZED RELIGION IS GOD'S BIGGEST ENEMY.

They shot off the canon on the drillfield this morning at the time the first plane struck the world trade center last year. I think this is the first time it really hit me of just how many people have died...not even just the 9/11 attacks, but every military action done by either the US or foreigners, for the sake of selfishness in the guise of defending democracy, religion, and justice. It's a lot of bullshit people. On the Libertarian listserve last year they said we are Americans first, Libertarians second....well aren't we all human before that? Isn't it all so blindingly obvious what's happening? So why isn't it stopping?

To think that I even considered going back to the BSU. You are so arrogant, you know that? If you wanna do something good for God, apologize for your existance.

[Valdyr] I feel much better today, but I know I shouldn't.

So I ran into your prick of a best friend today
he looked at me and turned and walked away
I wonder if you might have told my secret
I should have known even I couldn't keep it
Am I untouchable?

For hearing all my doubts so selectively and
For continuing my numbing love endlessly.
For helping you and myself: not even considering
For beating myself up and overfunctioning.

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one�s been crueler than I�ve been to me.

For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable
For myself love being so embarassingly conditional.
And for denying myself to somehow make us compatible
and for trying to fit a rectangle into a ball.

And
To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one�s been crueler than I�ve been to me.

I'm sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
I'm sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

For blaming myself for your unhappiness
and for my impatience when I was perfect where I was.
Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready,
and expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be.

To whom do I owe the first apology?
No one�s been crueler than I�ve been to me.

And
I�m sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
I�m sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

Well, I wonder which crime is the biggest ?
Forgetting you or forgetting myself...
Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter,
I would�ve naturally loved the former.

For ignoring you: my highest voices.
For smiling when my strife was all too obvious.
For being so disassociated from my body,
and for not letting go when it would�ve been the kindest thing.

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one�s been crueler than I�ve been to me.

And
I�m sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I�m sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.
I�m sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I�m sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

- Alanis Morissette "Sorry to Myself"

[Valdyr] you know what's really cool? singing into a bottle.
[Valdyr] it's like your own personal made-at-home amp

It's like, the closer I get to God, the worse I feel about myself. Maybe that was the problem I had with Johnnie too.
Anyways, I ran into one of the guys from the BSU the other day...like the only one I ever though was sincere. He asked me to think about giving them another chance. Maybe I will. Eh.
In other news, classes are good...we starting to get Alpha Psi Omega up and running, so that should be fun. Yay for Theatre!