When focusing isn't just a lighting term...

I remember when I used to be able to go to work and just do my job without worrying about anything else. Now I can't imagine my life without always having "my other job" in the back of my mind. How do people without a hobby deal with free time? Is it boring, or are you a lot less stressed than I am now?

It's like I'll never really have another day off or another vacation again, because if I'm not here, then I'm at a club, or working online, or out distributing flyers. Even on my lunch breaks I spend my time responding to emails about shows, etc.

In looking for a new job, I kind of wonder if I'll ever really be happy with one. I think, in the end, I'm always going to be aggreviated about how I could be using my time better elsewhere, working on music.

I need to book either a really huge fucking show, or get a freaking release out on my label already. On the flip side, I did just bid on a big band for Nov/Dec...don't think it'll happen, but never hurts to try. Too bad the Razed in Black show didn't pan out, but one of these days, something will.

Other fun things found while cleaning the loft today:

1) A Monarch Royal accordion. Haven't been able to successfully date it yet.

2) A very nice mic case for a Nuemann. I didn't know we had a Nuemann. I wonder if my boss knows we have a Nuemann.

3) Random stickers for various audio companies. Now I can feel like a real engineer if I put a Shure and Audix sticker on my road cases. Wait...I don't have any road cases...yet...

Song of the Day: Life Cried - "Hallowed Be Thy Name" www.lifecried.net

Job search addendum

I also want to dye my hair hot pink again. And get my nose pierced. Really, really bad.

I'm radioactive...literally.

In regards to the show on Wednesday night, it went pretty well. The bands were happy as were the fans that showed up...we just didn't have a lot of people there in general, in spite of everyone's best efforts at promotion. I think since Adams Morgan is just such a sucky area to try to park in, that it discourages people from coming out. In any case, Vicious Alliance were great to meet; they were very nice, very enthusiastic, and it was apparent that they really love performing. I think in a year or two they're gonna be a powerhouse in the electro-noise scene. Abbeyvain was awesome as well; Sydney and Filip are amazing people and very professional. They put on a greatly energetic show, too. And thanks to my uber-awesome roomie for coming out at the last minute to help work the door.

Now, for the not so fun stuff. I've only talked to a few people about this so far, but I feel the urge to blog, so here it is: over the last few weeks I've started having severe (though short-lived) bouts of chest pain. After two more episodes last week, I figured something was really wrong, so I made a doctor's appointment for last Monday. I went in, they did an EKG, which was abnormal. So they sent me to the cardiologist yesterday for a thallium stress test. Hence the title of my post. Basically, the test entails the patient being injected with a radioactive isotope so that the heart can be monitered before and after excercising. Sounds extremely creepy, but it wasn't painful. Just took forever. Anyhow, to make a long story short, the technician there did see, again, an abnormal EKG before the stress test started. So now...I'm waiting for either the radiologist or my family doctor to call and tell me what the hell is wrong with my heart.

It's always something, eh? My skin is doing fairly well, for once.

I'm also slightly bummed because my birthday plans involving a cute boy fell through. But, it's probably for the best, since I can't get a lot of time off from work that weekend, since we'll be in tech for the Christmas show. So I'll wait a few months more I suppose.

Speaking of work...I hate people. I hate people who come in half an hour before their event and essentially ask for the whole world on a platter, and then when you can't give it to them, they make snide remarks about how you can't do your job. I will never understand why people always assume that we can do everything on the fly...and more so, that we owe them to do it.

So the lady called us up Tuesday about this event on Wednesday (when we have a policy that you must give us 2 weeks warning for large events, to be sure we have both the equipment and the people.) So I talk to her and get all the info I can squeeze out of her...basically they need to show both a PowerPoint presentation and a web video, so I think, cool, no problem. I ask what kind of computer they're bringing, and find out they assume we provide one. I tell them we don't, but that other ministries have them for loan, and that I'll go ahead and procure one for her since it was such late notice (see, I'm nice, right?). So Wednesday rolls around (I'm the only one in during the morning, and it's my half day because of the AV show.) and I go into the room to set up about an hour before they're supposed to arrive to go over everything. So I get the computer in there...a very old Dell with no wireless card...only to find out that the IT guys have switched that room over to wireless only without telling anyone. So that's lovely. Fortunately, the IT guys have some laptops of their own, so they loan me one of those, and I get that up and running (after some annoying login problems they had to fix). The group arrives about 10 minutes late to our meeting. Now, this laptop I'm using, while newer than the first, still isn't all that up-to-date, and apparently it's video card can't do dual projection. It's third "function F8" option is an extended desktop, not a mirror. So I tried to fix it, with no avail, and so does our IT guy, also with no luck. In the meantime, this group has brought in MUCH more media than they had told me (they actually had about 3-5 presentations they needed downloaded from CDs, email, etc., a whole CD full of pictures for a slide show that had to be transfered to the computer, and they had assumed they could just somehow magically download the *streaming* video from the internet so that they didn't have to see the rest of the website), so we're simultaneously trying to get all of that stuff on there AND fix the dual imaging problem. All the while I'm getting comments about how we're running out of time, that using the computer is going to be difficult, where's the wireless mouse (we don't have them nor did they ask for one ahead of time), etc. They ask me if I'm going to be in there to run the presentations for them, at which point in time I explain that I have a half day and will be gone by then. So then I get more attitude about how THEY didn't get half days, etc. As if I was working less than 40 hours this week somehow? Or that I would get overtime if I stayed longer...which at that point I already had. Gah.

I need to find a new job. I want a job that I enjoy, that has a flexible enough schedule for my music stuff, and that pays well enough for me to live comfortably. At this point, I'm thinking of looking outside of theatre and a/v...maybe find a steady desk job doing something meaningless where I can dictate my hours so long as I punch in 40 hours a week. That would be awesome.

Song of the Day: Abbeyvain - "Quicksand" www.abbeyvain.com

Last call for the show tonight...Abbeyvain & Vicious Alliance at Midian.

Tomorrow's going to be even worse than Monday, I think. More on that later once I know for sure what's going on.

Tonight's photo shoot may have been one of the best I've ever done. Jimmy is awesome...can't wait to work with him again. His feel for lighting and mood really matches my style. And my new synth falls (...and my new corset...and my new gloves...and my new eyeshadow...) are so much fun.





Off to bed...tomorrow morning is going to be stressful, I think.

Over the last few days, in our downtime between events, me and the rest of the staff here in our department have been working on cleaning and organizing "the loft" - an area in the ceiling where we store quite a bit of our equipment. It's like a treasure hunt...brings back memories of why I wanted to be an archaeologist at one point in my life.

So far, things of note are:

- An Electro-Voice 664 Microphone (needs a new mic conversion plug, but I'll find one. Because my boss gave it to me. Wish B had felt the same way about that Shure 55 I found back at VWCC!)

- A Sony F-98 microphone and an Akai DM-13 microphone. Both of these mics are in great shape, in their packing boxes, with their instructions and all their accessories.

- A Coca-Cola Volume 3 CD printed in 1992, ft. such hip artists as Tina Turner and INXS.

- A Head Cleaning Kit for 5" Floppy Drives, unopened.

- Several 5" floppies.

In other news, promoting has started for the Abbeyvain show next Wednesday. I ran by Midian last night to drop off some flyers, so I'll be distributing those for the rest of the week. If anyone wants to help, let me know. I'll be at Midnight on Saturday, and then probably running by Shadey on Monday before heading to the Ladytron show at the 9:30 Club. But please, do come out to the show on Wednesday!



It looks like I have a test shoot with a new photographer on Sunday. Still keeping with the goth theme of course, but we're looking at doing some location stuff with fall coming up instead of studio work, so that'll be awesome I hope.

I forgot to mention this last week or so when it happened, but I'm highly irritated with deviantArt. Apparently, Lighting Design is not considered a form of art to them, and they have regulated all of my show pictures to my "scraps" folder. So I'll be pleading my case for my art sometime this week when I get some time.

If you haven't been to RAM in awhile, I put up a new front page and the new Supported Artist section a few days ago. The articles, news, dates, and contact sections are about finished as well, so those should be up shortly. The new design allows my staff members to update the news, articles, and dates sections independently, so that's gonna make life so much easier. I'm also reopening artist submissions on October 1st, so it's time to start sorting through all the press packs and CDs that I've got on file from before I closed submissions back at the end of the summer, oi.

I'm planning on finalizing the RAM comp album next week. I think I have enough submissions to run with it now, and I'm tired of it sitting on a back burner. I want it out already!

So I've noticed that not only does no one comment on my blog anymore, but no one writes in theirs all that much either. I mean, I know I used to update this daily, too. What happened, did we all get lives? :-)

On a final note...I like a cute boy. *giggles*

Song of the Day: Purgatory Remains - "Skin Deep"

There just aren't enough hours in a day. I got a lot done on music stuff this weekend, mainly working on the new RAM site and flyer designs for the upcoming shows, but I'm still really behind on some things. Slowly but steady I guess. This week I'll be focused mostly on the Abbeyvain show, and getting the rest of the RAM site back online. So close on that...

It was nice having the day off, finally. My job is really irritating me, but I guess I'll deal with it for a bit longer...

Not that I mind a good challenge, but I'm getting tired of being thrown behind a system I have yet to be trained on. Granted, I know a pretty good share of general sound knowledge now, but every installation has its nuances. So having me run events where it's very probably that I'm going to have to do something that requires me to have more in depth knowledge of how that specific system is set up without giving me some kind of overview is just asking for trouble.

A simple setup that should have taking me 15 minutes last night took about 2 hours, given that the way the sanctuary is actually set up compares to how I thought it should have been.

I also find troubleshooting excessively difficult if not a goddamn thing is labled.

*sigh* So, here I am again, getting ready to run choir/orchestra rehearsal, and I'm in a world of hurt. Took me awhile to track down the source of a problem with three of our monitering systems (which was a simple fix had the routes only been labled), then I had to bump through every single channel of the board to find out where the choir mics are normalled to. (Again, would have been niced if the labels weren't smudged off; "c o|r +" doesn't mean much to me.) Still having issues with one of the choir mics...I'm thinking now it's an already known issue...would have been nice if I had been told BEFORE I went and traced down the unplugged cable.)

I'm predicting that this is going to be a disasterous two days. And I was just barely starting to not completely hate this job.

I'd much rather be at home working on the growing list of flyers I need to do for the rest of this year's shows.

Tomorrow: work, then Midnight.

Song of the Day: Psyclon Nine - "Parasitic" www.psyclonnine.com

I posted something similar on myspace last night, but the rest of this year is going to fly by. So many shows...

Wednesday, September 27th
Radio-Active-Music.com & Midian present:
Abbeyvain
w/ Vicious Alliance
@ The Asylum
Washington, DC

Wednesday, October 18th
Midian & Radio-Active-Music.com present:
TERRORFAKT
@ The Asylum
Washington, DC

Saturday, October 28th
Radio-Active-Music.com & Midnight present:
"Crwn Thy Frnicatr" CD Release Party
for Psyclon Nine's new album
@ The Meeting Place
Washington, DC

Saturday, November 11th
Radio-Active-Music.com & Midnight present:
51 Peg
@ The Meeting Place
Washington, DC

Friday, December 1st
Radio-Active-Music.com & Strangeland Records present:
51 Peg
w/ DJ wHO?
@ SLR
Annandale, VA

Another show or two is in the works...

And, yes, you did read that right. 51 Peg is playing on my birthday. It's gonna be a kick ass party, so plan on coming now. And...it seems like a very special man may be joining me for that weekend. *sighs happily*

In other news, I talked to my big brother and he's gonna come down next month to visit when I have a day off, yay! I miss my Count Fluffy! :-)

Well, my work day is done...I'm going home...

Oh, man, where do you start a post like this?

This weekend was amazing. I had such a great time hanging out with those guys, and it was nice to really get to know all of them finally, since I had really only been talking to Tom and, more recently, Gabe. All of them were so badass and real...that's definitely a band I can see myself working with for a long time to come.

The show in C-ville was pretty good. We were downstairs this time and messing with a new stage and soundsystem which was a little off, but I think will be fine for The Dawning after a few times through. I got to meet DJ Rift finally and he was really great...a totally nice guy and very conscious of the band's needs, etc. It's always good to meet other promoters who actually are decent human beings! Rock on. The new songs are killer live, especially "lINES" and "oBJECTIFIED".

The show in Newport News was even better...In Tenebris performed as well, and I was even more impressed with them than I had been when they played at Midnight a few weeks ago. Again, all of those guys (and gals) are great people, and the whole night was just rockin'. DJ Vikki Wilson was spinning that night, and I had always heard a lot of good things about her, too. I chatted with her a bit, and she seems to be just as nice as everyone else. Man, I got nothing but love for everyone involved in this weekend. I even got a backrub from IT's drummer...it just doesn't get much better than that.

So for my first music 'touring' experience, I give it two thumbs up. I knew that it was gonna be fun as well as rough...though it was interesting to find that the things I thought would be annoying weren't, and the things I thought would be fun were kind of anal. Like, driving from Charlottesville to Virginia Beach at 4 in the morning really wasn't that bad; but on the flip side, me and Tom agreed that sitting in a club every single night could get really old. But the lack of a familiar bed or a shower is definitely worth it when you're surrounded by good people.

I would also like to take this time to say I don't think I ever really appreciated how god awful fangirls can be sometimes. I mean, wow...

Lot's of good memories and good times...thanks to HITL and In Tenebris for being awesome.

-----

9/11 - I will always remember the horror I felt when I stood in my dorm room and watched the second tower fall. I could feel the massive amount of death vibrating in my soul. No matter what our cultural or political differences may be, terrorism is never justified. RIP.

-----

Song of the Day: Heretics In The Lab - "lINES" www.hereticsinthelab.com

For the first time in who knows how long, I had two days off back to back, seeing as yesterday was a holiday, and today was just one of my random days off. Got a lot done...

I was supposed to be helping one of my coworkers move in yesterday, but they never called me so I'm guessing they got on fine on their own. So in the meantime, I went to the mall. I was intending on getting some new clothes for work, but I didn't have much luck in that catagory. Trying to find pants for myself is always exceedingly difficult. I did, however, stop into a store having a sale and found not one, but two, fairly awesome corsets for a reasonable price. One is black, and the other is a skin tone with black mesh and black stones embroidered on the front. Both are hot, yet not quite the typical "goth" look. I can't wait to wear them out. I did realize, however, when I was trying on pants, that I have indeed lost weight...because I've dropped a whole clothing size. Rock. On.

I also found a nice belt that I both like and is a bit more suitable for work. Speaking of work, it was a great deal better this week. I met a few people there that I'm actually interested in getting to know better. One guy is one of the music leaders for the young adult division, and me and him had a good talk on Saturday about some stuff, and he seems to have the same kind of outlook on things as I do. The other guy apparently listens to the same type of music I do...that's undeniably cool.

So, looking up.

In other news, music stuff is going like crazy. I've been running errands today to get ready for this weekend...so excited to get out of town and hang with those guys for a few days, and to just be at some shows. Then, it looks like I've gotten a show for Abbeyvain at Midian at the end of the month. Next month is the freakin' Terrorfakt show that me and Midian are sponsering, and then I just got the go ahead to do the CD release party for Psyclon Nine at Midnight at the end of October.

Fun doesn't end there...I'm starting to plan my birthday party, which will be on a Friday, so I'm taking advantage of Strangeland's Friday show nights. So I need to see what band I can get to play, and come up with a few other fun things. Still working on Nuclearfest as well...hope that'll get up and rolling again soon.

Going out to dinner with Scott tonight to catch up on stuff and get the next few months scheduled. That should be a lot of fun.

On the flip side, things kinda exploded with another band last night. It seemingly came out of nowhere, but when I really thought about it afterwards, I hadn't realized how fed up I was about the way things were going. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people who don't have their shit together. The last few months have been nothing but set backs and changes in plans. Now, I know more than anyone that things are never really stable in this business. But you can only blame so much of that on externals. When you're telling me that the album's on hold first because you're going out on tour with another band...then that you're putting your solo project ahead of it...how is any of that not your own doing? And then you demand I promote you when your website looks like ass, you have no product, and you can't even mail me your promo pack OR a few copies of your last release to sell...I mean, really...what the hell am I supposed to do? Oh, and on top of it...cop an attitude with me. Because that REALLY helps the situation. Gah, I'm so done with that.

So, to close, I would like to thank all those bands that are NOT like that...the ones that even though they have to hold down regular jobs like the rest of us, etc., still find the time to keep things going as best they can, and do what they need to do to enable their promoters, managers, designers, etc. to help them get out there. Even more so, the ones with the good attitude. I know no one's perfect, and that projects always get delayed...but you can tell who's really trying and who's just masturbating on previous glory.

Song of the Day: Disown - "Medicinal" www.disown.cc

While I hate missing out on Midnight, after last week's events and tomorrow's early morning, I just had to stay in tonight.

However, I got so much shit done for RAM, it's rediculous.

I've got BOTH the new artist section AND the new calendar up for beta testing with my staff members. Once we get all that up and running, it'll go live for everyone...perhaps as soon as tomorrow?

Actually had a decent day at work. Talked to someone who seems to be much more on my plane of understanding. That was nice.

In my personal life, I feel very hurt at the moment. I need to learn to stop loving.

Looking forward to hanging out with HITL for a few days. I need to get out of here for awhile.

Song of the Day: Marilyn Manson - "This Is The New Shit" www.marilynmanson.com

Today's rant list:

1.) Dear myspace,
Why am I still getting logged out every goddamn time I try to read/post a bulletin, check my blog subscriptions, or post a comment? This has been going on for at least a month now, why the hell haven't you fixed your fucking code yet? Myspace is going to be quickly overrun by better sites since you've now made it competely worthless to me as a means of promotion.

2.) Dear NoVA drivers,
It's rain. Get over it. Learn to do more than 30mph on the interstate.

3.) Dear church members,
Leave me the hell alone and let me do my job. No, we have absolutely nothing in common. Yes, I know that you oppose the way I dress, what I do in my free time, and my attitude. But your lights look better now, don't they?

Song of the Day: Life Cried - "Hallowed Be Thy Name" www.lifecried.net