Work has been hard, but good. Really, I had a lot of fun today, which I realized happily this afternoon. I'm glad I can do a job I like. Today I got to play with lighting gel, rewire some practicals, hang a few additions, etc. I think I'm getting back into shape, too, which is good: I was able to load rail this afternoon without worrying about me dropping 30lbs steel bricks on anyone. I did, however, manage to let my cellphone slip out of my pocket while in the front truss...so now I really need a new phone. Surprisingly, it still works, even though the top part of the casing is breaking into two. Meh. Worst part is...like I have time to go to the store at all this week?

The show looks like it will be relatively more simple from the last one. I miss having Colleen and Alan there, but this show's SM seems nice so far, and the sound guy - wow. Talk about Hottie McHotalot. Dayum. I mean, you guys have no idea. Seriously. This dude is built. You know me and men with strong shoulders. Rowr. To give you some perspective, he's a fireman in "real life". But a cool guy regardless, so I think he'll be lots of fun to hang out and work with.

Tomorrow continues. Apparently there aren't a lot of free electricians right now, so I'm being granted all the work this week, which rocks. It's kicking my ass, but that's gonna be a sweet paycheck.

Anyways...off to bed at a somewhat decent hour tonight...

Oi. It's been nice having a few weeks off, and I'm really not looking forward to going back to work 24/7 starting tomorrow, though I really do need the money. Dry tech is tomorrow, and I'm doing an 8 hour call before that to help install some of the set lighting peices. So it's gonna be a long day. The week will be much of the same, with the weekend being even more fun - I'll hit Alchemy on Thursday night, then do a 10 out of 12 on Friday. Whee! I'm getting tired just thinking about it. So anyways, the main point of this paragraph is that I'm not going to have another day off until the 10th of April...

But the weekend turned out to be pretty good, for the most part. Friday night Joe had messaged me asking me to come keep him company on Saturday at Strangeland, so I met him after work and chilled with him for awhile. Not that he needed the company - lots of people dropped by the store that night, so that was really encouraging. It seems like they're going to do really well. After he closed, we went to IHOP and had some very stream-of-consciousness-esqu conversations (he's an artist - nothing about him is linear), most which would be better left unrepeated, lol. It was a lot of fun.

One of my friends told me tonight that she's in love, and I'm happy for her. :-)

Tonight was good, though I just got off the phone with someone who is continually agitating me. Have I mentioned I hate weakness? Because I do. I can't stand people that can't make up their fucking mind, ESPECIALLY when it directly effects me. Pick a route and go with it already. You're so afraid of making the wrong choice that you hesitate for too long and then lose the opportunity to make the right one. Gah.

Song of the Day: 51 Peg - "Rest Of Us" www.51peg.com

Isolation again. I'm alone, and I'm an idiot.

Moving on. Last night was pretty good - it was Amy's birthday and Wendy took her out to dinner, so John, Derek, and Jeff forgoed band practice and we watched HP4 instead. Good times.

Today I stopped by the thrift store on my way home, since I was needing some items to expand my goth apparel. I actually ended up peicing together a KILLER dress in preparation for Goth Prom. I will take pictures this weekend.

"And when you die the cause will be from self-infliction
Your pointless life will only lead to crucifixion."

Song of the Day: Psyclon Nine - "The Feeding" www.psyclonnine.com

It would be really awesome if I could somehow syndicate my blog to publish on both LJ and Xanga simultaneously with this one. Just a thought.

In other news, I am back in Roanoke for a few days. I met up with Chris, Dana, and Stephen last night for a few drinks. Sitting in AA's for 20 minutes reminded me how much this town sucks. I'm so glad I moved, no matter what troubles I've faced with it.

On the downside, most of you know that my mom has been sick. I found out yesterday that it's probably much worse than we originally thought. They now think that she has a degenerative brain disease. She has to use a walker now to get around. So she'll be going down to Duke in a few weeks to find out for sure, and my parents will be moving into a smaller house in the next few months.

Meh.

Anyways, I met up with my old man today for lunch. It was great seeing him again, though a little sad. I know he's unhappy, and I wish there was something that could change for him. *hugs & love*

Got my old bank account closed, and cleaned out my PO box. Tonight I'm eating dinner with the family, then going over to hang out with Derek and John for a bit. Damn I miss that band.

So it's been a few days of transitions I guess. In some ways it's hard to believe that I've been gone for so long, and in other ways I can't believe so much has changed in such a small time.

I don't regret any of it, though.

Song of the Day: Psyclon Nine - "Requiem for the Christian Era" www.psyclonnine.com

Fred Phelps found a new hobby.

I'm seriously going to send this letter to him:

To Mr. Fred Phelps, Jr.

Dear sir,

It was with great regret today that I read a news article on the CNN website about you're new protesting tactics at targeting the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq as a statement against a country that "supports the homosexual lifestyle."

This is not my first encounter of your work. Several years ago, I was involved with Virginia Tech's production of The Laramie Project, which as you may know, is a play involving the aftermath of the death of Matthew Sheppard. Or, perhaps you don't - it seems like you view this script as an advocation of homosexuality, when in fact it's merely the study of the justification (or lack thereof) of a hatecrime, simply using the death of a homosexual man as the vehicle of communication.

At that point in time, our cast became aware of one of your pending protests at a university a few hours up the road who were distributing copies of the script as required reading. Needless to say, we were all shocked and outraged.

But some of us in different ways than others. I want to let you know I am a firm believer in Christ, having accepted salvation over five years ago. I live my life to best of my ability to both follow His will in my life, and to show love to others. So I'm writing to you now because I can only hope as a man of God that your goals are the same, and that hearing my experiences in these matters will help enlighten you to more effective ministering.

That night in college that we found out about your protests, I sat in rehearsal with one of my fellow crew mates and friends, who is also a sister in Christ. That evening we sat up in the catwalk of the theatre in sad silence, while we listened to the rest of the cast (all of which I'm sure are NOT believers) while they ranted, argued, and made fun of you, your work, God, and everything surrounding the Christian faith. I remember looking at my friend and us mutually acknowledging that any love or faith we had shared with our non-Christian friends had been thrown out the window by YOUR thoughtless actions.

Don't you understand? Protesting is the WORST way to "witness". Please take a moment to consider the other side. Imagine yourself a person in this society who is (by either nature or choice, it doesn't matter) considered an outcast. One day you are minding your own business as you always do, when suddenly you are bombarded by people telling you they hate you, holding signs saying "God hates you!" and "You're going to hell!"...all because you're a bit different. I'm not arguing a point for who is right or who is wrong here - I'm focusing on the method of communication! No one wants to be rediculed! Why in the world would anyone who is a victim - yes, victim - of your protests, of your attacks, want to immediately say, "Oh, yes, you're right! God hates me because I'm gay! I'm going to stop right now and join you so that I can yell at people too!" Really, this is just common sense here.

I've been a victim of protesting. Jerry Falwall's students came over to my high school awhile back and protested abortion randomly one day. I love how I was summarily judged and stereotyped as a child-killing whore just because I went to the public high school. That day brought nothing but, again, a perpetuated sense of hatred towards what Christianity has come to represent in our society.

It's my firm belief that Jesus would never do what you are doing. The Bible shows a man who forgave killers and prostitutes. Because He knew that individual love and attention was how to make a difference.

My plea to you and your followers is to understand that protesting is nothing but counterproductive. And that you would be much better to actually meet some of these "sinners" you're targeting and to get to know them and their concerns - and to show them the real love of God.

Sincererly,
Laura

-----

Meh. I just hate that shit.

Moving on. I'm exhausted. I've had two 8 hour calls at The Shakespeare Theatre this week, which have been awesome, but hard work, lol. I need to work on getting back into a bit better shape. Lugging around a few hundred Source Fours is a bit too much for me.

So I do have tomorrow off, so I'm going home once I wake up. So if anyone in Roanoke wants to meet up, I'm thinking about heading over to AA's in Roanoke tomorrow night. :-) I'll call all of you guys.

Song of the Day: Psyclon Nine - "Harlot" www.psyclonnine.com

St. Patty's day was fun - me and Corrie decided at the last minute to have a little get-together at our place instead of going to our favorite Irish pub (which is good, because when I drove by the pub on my way to the ABC store that afternoon there was already a line to get in.) So we had some friends over...I put green lighting gel in all of our light fixtures, and much fun and drinking was had by all.

Had a work call yesterday at Woolly and that was hard, but good. We got a lot accomplished Tomorrow & Tuesday (and possibly Wednesday) I'm working at Shakespeare Theatre...the fun part is that I have to be there at 9, so I get my first experience in rush hour traffic. Not only is it going to take about 3 hours to get in, but I have to find a new route because I66 goes to all HOV during rush hour. Meh. But the money will be worth it.

I should be coming home Wednesday night after work. So I'll be calling you guys about hanging out. And hopefully I get to see my old man on Thursday, too. Yay!

Today I've been catching up on RAM stuff. Kinda let stuff slide after having been sick, so it's time to get back into it again.

And on the final note of the evening...I had a cute rockstar message me back today. :-)

Song of the Day: Psyclon Nine - "The Feeding" www.psyclonnine.com

*dances* "Stickin' it to the man! Stickin' it to the man!" Ok, really, I guess the correct phrasing would be that the man didn't stick it to me; I had my traffic court date this morning, and got a slightly reduced fine...and...no DMV points. Alllllriiiiiiight!

Work was good last night. We started hang for the next show at Woolly...funny thing is, the LD didn't get us a plot until about half-way through our call, so we ended up doing some leftover strike stuff from the last show, and delivered a bunch of lights back to Shakespeare Theatre. BUT - that meant that we ran into their ME, and he asked me to do some work for them next week. Sweet. I also found $10 on the ground walking down from the parking garage.

Anyways, using the rest of my day off to go help Joe and Ryan some more since they open their shop tomorrow. Should be fun. Going to see if they'll let me buy a cd early, because, well, if I don't get that Psyclon Nine cd soon I'm gonna break the band's flash player on their myspace profile. *giggles*

Tonight me and Colleen our doing our usual clubbing at Nation. I'm definitely wearing the leash tonight. ;-)

In other news, I'm going back to Roanoke sometime next week to close out my old bank account and PO box. So I guess I'll see some of you guys soon. :-)

Song of the Day: Psyclon Nine - "Behind A Serrated Gate" www.psyclonnine.com

I got as close to going to Columbus as getting dressed and writing down directions when I realized that driving such a crappy route at 4:30 tomorrow morning really wasn't something I wanted to do. I mean, sure, it would have been an awesome show...but 800 miles just to see someone I probably would never meet up with again isn't very responsible, no matter how much fun it might have been. ;-)

I figured I'd be much better off to keep working today and tonight. After all, that's why I came here.

The last week or so has been fun. It's nice having some time off in between contracts. Still getting a lot of work done, though, so I haven't been completely idle. But sleeping and and chilling on the couch for a bit has been nice. Got a lot of plans in the works for several bands, some of which are touring here soon, or just looking for more promotion. So that's nice to finally be getting something back at this point in time. I have a few other side projects for some fast cash - painting and such - so that's good, too.

I've spent some time working over at Strangeland Records to help Joe and Ryan get the store open. They're doing a really good job, so I hope that all works out for them.

Last night was really wierd. I met up with Sean for awhile...I seem him maybe once or twice every other week or so to talk about things. Between me and him alone, things are ok. Well, as ok as they can be. But somehow last night I got on the topic of some previous relationships and a lot of things resurfaced that I had forgotten about...or at least thought I had come to terms with. Things from my earlier years in college, even. It was strange. I was talking to one of my friends about it later and I guess it's just that over the last few months I've started to really put together the connections of what it really is, deep down, that goes wrong. I don't really like what I'm figuring out. It's bringing a dismal future.

So I guess I keep on with what I'm always saying...keep focused on my work, because at least for now, there is nothing else.

The last 48 hours have been a revolution.

So as you have read (giggidy) I went to the Psyclon 9 show last night with Colleen and some of her friends and it was great! I didn't realize how badly I needed a show until I walked in on soundcheck. So in my usual concert expert style, I make my way up to the front of the stage right before the show starts so that I had a good view. They did a really great job...reminded me a bit of HITL, with a bit more electronics.

Well, being the good theatre major I am (was) I know the importance of feeding energy to the band. So I rock out (because I'm not one of those pretentious goth chicks who just stand in the back and stare) and the guitarist/keyboardist eventually steps forward to me and so we start jamming. And it keeps going...and I'm thinking "damn, this guy is cute." Hehehe...the lighting is balanced enough on both the stage and the audience that we can definitely make eye contact, so we have a blast and pretty much dance/rock together for the rest of the show. It was awesome. So by the show ends I'm pretty sure something is there, so I hang near the stage, and he immediately comes out and starts chatting with the audience. He eventually catches up with me and we sit down and talk for awhile and have a great time. He's really cool ass dude, and reminded me a lot of one of me and Heather's friends from freshman year (Heather, if you're reading this, imagine James with a green mohawk, lol.) It was cool because this guy was really laid back and just a touch nerdy - not at all your standard rockstar. So, yes indeed, we hit it off well, but especially in the feeling like I made a new friend, and not just a random hook-up.

But what really was decisive about last night was that I realized afresh how much I love this life style, and that I can do this. I've come so far already. So I made my decision. It may be harder than having a dedicated job, but I can do this.

And today clenched the deal. I had my interview and got taken on as a technician with a theatre in McLean. So I now will be making at least enough to live on now. It's not a huge income, but it's enough that I no longer have to worry.

And I can still keep with my music.

I win.

Song of the Day: Celldweller - "I Believe You" www.celldweller.com

I made out with the guitarist of Psyclon 9 and it was hot.

Nite. ;-)

I had the wierdest dreams last night, first involving my car getting stolen, and then the crapass car I got on loan not working. A very stressful night, lol. At least it's not those damn tornados, eh?

So it looks like I've gotten myself on yet another overhire list for an auditorium in McLean. I've got an interview with them tomorrow.

Tonight should be fun. Psyclon 9 is playing at Alchemy tonight, so that should be a good show.

Got to talk to my big brother today, yay! He's shipping out to Hawaii, then to Mexico, on Saturday. I am jealous. (I was really hoping it was going to be warm enough to lie outside today, lol.)

Still on my design streak...today's task was my own site. I'm moving my LH.com over to Lee's server, so once that gets set up, then I can publish. I decided to yet again try something different, so I'm using blogger completely to publish the new site. So I spent today making up the template, and it looks awesome so far. Also found a great dropdown menu script that seems to work on everything, and really gives it a great touch. Plus, using the blogger lets me update the site much easier, so I'm putting more on it this time now that I won't have to spend so much work updating it. So I've got a main page with all of my current projects on it and an overview of my work, then a second section for my music promotion work first off, with the promo work I do, the articles I write (so people can now syndicate anything I write for RAM, D1, Ecult, etc.), and photography. The third section is for theatrical design, with subsections for lighting, faux finishing, and corporate a/v. (I was kinda bummed out on my last site that I only focused on lighting) The fourth is for webdesign, skinning, and graphics. Fifth is is the more personal stuff, with a bio, resumes, and a photo gallery. Last is contact info. But yeah, it all looks really good so far...will post either a screen shot or the actual site soon...whichever comes first.

Chicken pox are improving. Not quite so itchy today. So I've just been cleaning up around here too, doing laundry and all that. I think tomorrow I'm gonna get back on painting again.

Thank you old man for leaving cute comments! Miss you too! And thanks big brother for calling...when are you gonna come visit before you ship out? ;-)

Oh, so Harry Potter 4 came out on DVD. Why was I not informed?

Song of the Day: Cynergy 67 - "Give Me" www.cynergy67.net

Apparently in order to be a good designer I just need to get sick more often. I don't know whether it came from the excess amount of time I've had to myself, or from the fever, but I just cranked out two brand new website designs today. Both are completely different from my usual "style", which is a big step for me since I really wanted to expand. The last thing I want is for someone to look at a site and say "Yep, Valdyr did that one, too." And no more iframes for me.

So yeah, one interface for 51 Peg, and one for Otto's Daughter. I will post screen caps once I get some kind of response from the band. (Or I suppose if you're sneaky enough you can go to my DA profile, lol.)

Also got the chance to redo the Ecult myspace profile a bit too before that went down today. So been a damn productive day. I feel like I'm putting the finishing touches on my portfolio/experience, and that something very big is coming my way. This is all preparation.

And yes, I am getting better, because the itching has ensued. Gah! Who wants to buy me a beer and make me feel better?

Song of the Day: Disown - "Far Away From Here" www.disown.cc

"The course of true love never did run smooth." - A Midsummer Nights' Dream.

And how.

So yes, I am feeling better today. I at least managed to run a few errands, so that was good. Still working on music stuff. I think I may have found my answers on that one...

So the fever has gone down, and no new spots, so hopefully I'm getting better? Maybe I just had a mild form of it? Didn't get a chance to get to the doctor today to find out; I had forgotten that the guy was coming to fix our drywall today, so since he showed up late and then left late, it was really too late to try. But, since I'm feeling better, it's not a big deal I guess. If I feel crappy tomorrow I guess I'll go then instead.

I spent most of the day either sleeping or working on some web stuff. Found a few music/web related gigs I put some bids out for, so we'll see if any of that comes back. I also reskinned three of my myspace profiles as well:

http://www.myspace.com/valdyr
http://www.myspace.com/radioactivemusic
http://www.myspace.com/concreteband

I'm very happy with them and think they've got a bit more of an edge to them now. I'll probably redo COT, OD, and Ecult sometime this week too.

I talked to my old man today, which was nice. I'm glad me and him can still be friends. It's always comforting to hear his voice, no matter how far away I am now.

In other news, over the last few days I've become more and more unsettled about my friendship with someone. I already have trust issues, but I really feel like I'm being deceived now more than ever. At this point, all I want is out.

So, going to take a nice long shower, get a drink, and head to bed I think...

"So this is how it feels to suffer
And you had so much to say
But it's over now
And I'm going down, alone...
I've no guarantee
I'll recognize my disease
Before my time is gone
It's all I've found
Can't get the hell off the ground
Out from under my feet."

Song of the Day: Celldweller - "Under My Feet" www.celldweller.com

I am 23 years old and have finally failed to avoid catching the chicken pox.

Laura's current list of online irritants: (because I have to rant about something every once in awhile, and hey, it has been a few months since my last road rage post, right?)

1.) Myspace whore trains.
2.) I post an away message for a reason. If it says I'm in the shower, chances are, I'm probably in the shower. There's also a good chance that I don't have my laptop in the shower with me, so beseiging me with "Hey are you there, why aren't you talking to me?" comments probably aren't going to help.
3.) Submitting music to my site without paying attention to the submission guidelines. I mean, really, do you just send "hey u check out mym usic pleeze" to Warner Brothers?
4.) IM'ing me the second I sign on.
5.) Getting 40 new spam messages every 10 minutes.
6.) Spyware.

But to counteract my rant, here's a list of cool things that are happening:
1.) I get time off starting Monday
2.) Cynergy 67 has signed with the RAM label - CD will be out this summer
3.) I was told I was gorgeous when I had no make-up on
4.) Me and Colleen got in free at Alchemy last night for some reason
5.) I had 3 dudes try to pick me up last night
6.) My dad's gonna pay for my new computer

Anyways, been a kind of frustrating night though. My skin is very bad, and I didn't really realize it until I got in the shower a few minutes ago and realized my back is so frozen up that I could barely raise my arms to wash my hair. So...there's another drop of money, since I can't not go to the doctor at this point. I think if I wait any longer I'm gonna end up in the hospital. Meh.

I also came into posession of a huge secret this week. I'm tired of feeling like I have to live a hidden life half of the time, just in order to protect someone else's feelings.

But on the flip side, tomorrow should be a good day. I'm gonna head over to Annandale before work and help one of Corrie's friends who is setting up his own record store. So I'm gonna chill there for a few hours and help them set up CD racks and all that fun stuff. Should be cool...their focusing on a few specific genres, including electronic and industrial, so that's exciting. After that, the show, and then...heh, heh, allllriiiiiiight...the cast party. This is the last weekend for this show, so starting Monday I get some much needed rest.

I also finally quit with the video company today, but everything was cool. Had a good experience overall, but it's time to get back on track with things.

Plans for next week:
Go to the doctor
Not wear anything with metal for 7 days
Do my damn business paperwork (I really mean it this time)
Do some overhire for a few theatres
Sleep in at least once
Finish OD's site
Try to book some shows

Song of the Day: Kubrick - "Track 11" www.officialkubrick.com

And the sagas continue.

Ok, remember that interview I was supposed to have Tuesday that got cancelled? Well, Wednesday the recruiter called back and said that what had happened is that they gave one of their IT guys the job, and he did it for about a day and it didn't work out, so they wanted to meet with me again. So, ok, they want to meet this week, at which point I say I can't take off any more time from work. Instead, we schedule a phone interview for today.

Glad I didn't take time off from work, because guess what got cancelled again? I mean, what the hell?

It's now tentatively rescheduled for sometime next week. Sure, I'll go, but at this point I have no faith at all in this company, so I'm going on with my business stuff as well as the overhire offers I got offered this week from some of the local theatres. Enough of that nonsense.

Moving on. I realized that the power port on my laptop's docking port is breaking. Still works now, but probably won't much longer. So there's another $150 I have to drop to replace my dock. I really love this computer, but physically, it hasn't held up well. Several smaller parts have already broken off. Maybe I should go ahead and just price a new one. After all, I've had this one for 4 years now. Hey Jacob, wanna price a good Mac laptop for me? That new MacBook Pro looks interesting. Anyways, I think I'll just ask my parents if they'd be interested in paying for it now and calling it my combined birthday/Christmas present for this year. Meh.

Well, off to work...

Song of the Day:
Reality Check - "The Way I Am"
www.lunahalo.com