So I just sat through what may or may not have been a tornado. What wierd weather.

Anyways, all I can say is that God works in mysterious ways. This relationship is so strange. The connection we have is amazing, but at the same time it wasn't anything I was looking for. The way he can look straight into my heart is fascinating and kinda scary; I just wish I was more at ease. I give myself credit for trying again so soon, but I didn't really realize how much my capacity to trust was damaged until now. I'm not afraid of making myself vulnerable again...I'm not afraid of pain. The problem is, I expect it. I'm just waiting for him to hurt me. It never even occures to me to believe him. I'm in such a sad state of disbelief it's not even funny.
And the way that he completely understands all of this is just mind blowing. I guess right now I'm just afraid that he might run out of patience waiting for me to heal. I hope that he's in this for the long haul, because on the other hand, no matter how bad off I am, he's already done me so much good.
All I can do is trust that this will last for as long as it's supposed to, and that God will continue to provide in whatever way He sees fit to.

Song of the Day: Celldweller - "I Believe You"