Guess what this month is? Blog Anniversary Month. I usually enjoy sitting around with Heather to do the yearly sifting through life's trials and random drunken comments, but this year I had to do it myself. But I wanted to post some selected statements from the last few years...some serious, most of them funny, but all of them very important to me and my memories.
I'd also really like to share some love to everyone who has improved my life in so many ways, especially: Dana, Jeremiah, Steve, Lance, Lou, Corrie, Heather, Katherine, Danica, Skunk, and everyone else who has stuck by me in my times of need. I wouldn't be here today if it were not for you.
And now...(drum role)...the last few years in review...
I'm getting ready for Prom tomorrow...in that I'm still trying to figure out which dress I look the least ugly in. Ick. That's the thing about being an amazon super-chick techie...buff doesn't look good dressed up. Gimme my blue jeans. Just kidding, Dana...seriously, I'm wearing a dress, I promise.
- 5/10/02
I believe I've been in the sun long enough to no longer qualify as 'blindingly white'.
- 5/20/02
Hey, at least a pelican didn't dive-bomb your foot.
- 5/23/02
And, seriously, is anyone else being bombarded by National Honory Society this and National Fraternity that? Like, if I joined all of these things I'd be entitled to wear the entire Greek alphabet.
- 6/22/02
"One time, I stole some toliet paper from the janitors' closet. I felt real bad about it, but I was all out at home..." - Millet, "Fuddy Meers"
- 6/28/02
Everytime I talk to you, I feel like I'm a little closer to heaven.
- 7/1/02
[d1jay] I gotta go in 2 minutes. sorry to cut it short tonight. life's a bitch and so is my x.
- 7/27/02
You know, recently I've been doing really well with the whole being in 'unrequited love' thing. I guess once you've been doing it so long, you get used to it eventually. Actually, it's probably just knowing that things are ok with me and you now...knowing that I'm forgiven...that made me so much more peaceful. But somewhere it has to break sometimes.
I miss you.
- 8/8/02
[Orion-Working] Damn small town shits.. Shooting armadillos in their yard.
- 8/20/02
A few minutes ago, I received an email from my director about a church protesting The Laramie Project in Maryland. Because, obviously, God doesn't love gay people. I hope they come down here and protest our production of it too, because I have a thing or two to say about Christian hiprocrisy. Do you really think insult and death is an effective ministry? ORGANIZED RELIGION IS GOD'S BIGGEST ENEMY.
- 9/12/02
Heather - Today's advice for Dana: DUH!!!
- 10/1/02
LTek1: DO NOT throw a party and drink champagne and carouse merrily while in the lift.
Zeta Vande: oh, but that takes all the fun out of it
LTek1: hahaha
Zeta Vande: I mean, what else would you do with the lift?
Zeta Vande: lol
LTek1: Song and dance numbers.
- 11/15/02
Me: Oh, joy, there's a pep rally for the football team this week.
Heather: I'm gonna eat the Hokie Bird for Thanksgiving.
- 11/17/02
[GC] he's acted like a retard on national tv several times
[GC] u just did it once on his answering machine
- 1/5/03
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- 1/19/03
Jeremiah: Do you think if we cut off his head, anyone would notice?
Me: Probably not, he'd still be talking out of his ass.
- 1/28/03
All along in Human Rites rehearsal we've been encourage to be honest with each other. I was honest Thursday night about my concerns, and I ended up isolated on one side of the room and faced with an amount of ridicule and hatred that I have not seen in a long time. I was not in rehearsal Thursday night, but rather I was back in 8th grade at Holy Cross in 1st period science class with the rest of the students laughing at me, and my teachers standing by...one perpetuating it, and the other letting it happen. Six years and sixty miles away from that day, it's saddening to see how little has changed. Yeah, I'm damaged, and I think you all can understand why I cannot walk back into that room and make myself vulnerable to you again.
In regards to my original concern about our subject matter, I think the overall problem is that I couldn't even effectively communicate what was bothering me to begin with. I honestly believe that all of you have innocent motives in this matter and don't wish to hurt others, and I think that if you could have understood what I've begun to learn about people in the past two years, that you would have accepted my feelings about this, even if you didn't agree. The problem is, if I continued with this show in the current circumstances, you'd either be forcing me into a lie, or I'd be forcing you into one, and either way we'd all suffer. I'm not saying that I have the absolute right or anything, but I do know that in this case, we all believe what we believe to be true, but they're not the same things, and that would read on stage. Our goal was to present 'the question' without any sway. But when I was there, we couldn't agree on how to present that question to begin with in that matter...so if anything, I ask all of you to take this with you: Whenever you make a choice in this show, really consider whether it is innocent or not. One of the comments that night was if we continued the way I was thinking, we would get so broad that 'human' could define nothing. I couldn't agree more, and that made me realize that I shouldn't be doing a show with this subject matter, and I am truly sorry I didn't realize that sooner. I wish all of you the best of success, and I promise that I will not show up in the production in another other capacity to influence the direction of the show.
In regards to the comment about offending people, in general I don't have any problem offending people. I don't have a problem taking a social, religious, or politcal stance. In 'The Laramie Project', I hope that homophobics like Fred Phelps, Jr. were offended. In 'The Vagina Monologues', I hope that men who beat their wives were offended. But more importantly, I hope that those people were really made to consider their actions and mindset. I do not think it's acceptable to offend people just because of our own ignorance. Especially in this show, where we are talking about human equality and respect as one of our interests.
As for the comment about "it's just a show", well, for all of the better ways I can say it, I'll just stick with: Fuck You. I know, I know, it's your goddamn right to choose to do theatre for soley entertainment purposes, and that's between you and your morals - but I think it's sickening to take a show like this, and to look at it at it's best as a mainstage with a 3 week run. To each their own, but I look at theatre as something I do because I had to do it...not because I want a life of richness and fame.
In any case, it is true that I have resigned from all of my shows this semester. I'm very sorry to all of you that I left like this, especially to Bob and Susanna. But more importantly, in the words of Alanis, I'm sorry to myself. I'm sorry that I've been living my life like everything is fine when it's not. When I first found out a year ago how sick I was, I decided that I wasn't gonna let it stop me; that I wasn't going to roll over in bed and wait to die. But instead, I did the complete opposite and I ignored my limitations, both physically and mentaly, and pushed myself constantly to somehow prove myself. I look back over this past year and I wonder what did that accomplished? I have lists of awards, shows, good grades, and other accomplishments...and no good memories. Every good show had the price of sleepless nights. I have all this resume, but at what cost? I woke up Friday morning and realized that theatre is no longer worth it. I shouldn't be sitting here in pain planning on waiting another 5 days to take some medication so that I can optimize my health for the Jacques Brel run. My priorities have gotten really screwed up along the way, and I'm taking back my health and my sanity.
This has been a long time in coming, and it's about time I stopped. When will I start again...honestly I don't know. Right now the plan is to (reasonably) get myself back into things next semester. But right now, I'm also pursuing the option of not coming back. For a long time theatre has meant a lot to me, but I can say that at this moment, I don't wanna walk into a theater for a long time to come. I'm scared, but I trust that God is right here beside me, and that if I'm staring into the face of a major life change, that I can do that. I'd ask all of you to be praying for me to have the strength for His intervention.
- 2/2/03
You've got your own blessed sense of huberis...there's nothing I could do to you that would be any worse than what we do to ourselves.
- 2/5/03
[Nad] goodnight loug
*** Signoff by D1Lou detected
[Digital] loug
[Valdyr] LMAO
[Digital] lmao
[Nad] i'm glad he wasn't here to see me say loug
- 2/6/03
My spoon is too big.
- 2/11/03
* Valdyr pushes Lou back on the bed and has her way with him
[Valdyr] I'm tired of boys! I wanna real man!
[Valdyr] ok, I'm done
[Valdyr] LMAO
[D1Lou] Oh My God you guys are insane tonight
[Nad] no, just val
[GC] VAL!
[GC] get off my papa!
[GC] little girls aren't supposed to walk in on stuff like that happenin to their papa's!
[Valdyr] LMAO
[Valdyr] you can call me 'Ma' from now on, LMAO
* Nad blinks
[Valdyr] (darth vader voice) GC, I am your mother's uncle's sister's chia pet
- 2/25/03
And we all know that Salem is a white Protestant Republican football-lovin' town stuck in the '50's.
- 3/2/03
Homework is an insult to my intelligence
- 3/17/03
You know, when I went to talk to Ema earlier this week, and I expressed the thought that I didn't want to hurt the cast by being involved conceptually in the show, she said she'd like to see me come in and say 'fuck you'. For the show, that's not really my stance, but in a larger sense to life in general, fuck you. Everyone. Here I am beating myself up for your sake...as if it was my fault. In the face of all of this...every situation I'm dealing with right now...being nice, friendly, considerate, respectful is NOT my responsibility to you, but rather my gift. Because I am special, I am worth something, and I personally am better than these ordeals, and I choose to make it easier. I do not owe any of you anything. So stop taking my love and spiritual values for granted...they come from a Greater Power that I choose to follow on these events...not because of any redeeming quality that you possess.
- 3/17/03
* Nad_Trashed moves up on veal
[Nad_Trashed] val
[Valdyr] veal?
[Valdyr] LMAO
[S] val i think nad just called u a piece of meat
- 3/19/03
Nad0725: would it be too mean of an april fools joke to shit on my roommate's pillow?
Zeta Vande: no
Zeta Vande: not at all
- 4/1/03
We all dig our own graves, only some do it quicker than others. Tonight I will sleep VERY well. Anger is not a sin. You just have to decide what you do with it.
- 4/10/03
Been keeping company with apathy lately
Forsaken all of my friends
Personal vulnerability simply isn't worth it
Besides, what are you putting up?
I don't mean to be so suspicious
But you see I've been hanging out with bitterness
And I just changed the deadbolts and the locks
Your pounding on the door keeps me up all night
I just had dinner with resentment
And I met vengeance for a night cap
I'll be sleeping with blame tonight
Don't plan on me remembering to call you tomorrow
Been keeping company with apathy
Been keeping company with apathy lately and I don't care
I don't care
I don't care this time
- The Last Laugh, "Deadbolt"
- 4/15/03
* D1Lou loves val back and i've missed you.
I missed you guys too...It's just hard this time around.
- 4/29/03
Is it possible that I superimposed my own bitterness on those best fit to help me?
- 5/2/03
Tonight should be remembered as attack of the killer horse flys.
- 5/13/03
You know, people used to tease me about my affinity for Star Trek, but seriously, in watching these re-runs, I realize just how much of a moral impact they did have on my social development (especially considering what I was dealing with at school back then).
"One society's general is another society's terrorist."
"I saw my problems as challenges to overcome, as opposed to obstacles to avoid."
Maybe we'd get world peace if we all watched the entire TNG series.
- 5/23/03
"What we have now is great, and I still feel that what we could have is beautiful."
- 6/2/03
Keep it real with yourself and with God - the only two people you can't lie to.
- 6/17/03
No Expectations, No Regrets.
- 6/24/03
I had a really great conversation with the props master today about my career. It's nice to be on the same ground with someone in terms of making life choices.
When I left VT this semester, I knew that this summer was going to make or break theatre for me. And I've come to the conclusion that if I can be this satisfied and have this much fun when things are going this badly (in terms of basic theatre logic) that this is exactly where I need to be. I mean, I'm working like 14 hour days, getting 5 hours of sleep at the most, being stepped on, criticized, and inconvenienced - and it's ok. It seriously is ok.
I have met the best people and the worst people in my life in theatre. There are a few people here that I can't stand; but there are a few people here that I've met that have dramatically improved the quality of my existence. And that's what it came down to - I am satisfied.
I also realized that there were a few choices I made that have drastically altered my perception of life within the few weeks that I've been here:
1) Trust God. He's gonna provide what you need when He's supposed to, so just be patient.
2) The only part of life you can control is your own perception of the situation and how you respond to it.
3) Don't internalize your work. Job stress shouldn't go home with you.
4) Don't be afraid to make a hard choice. Whether it means standing up for yourself, getting involved in a relationship, or just hopping on a plane and flying across the country for a summer job. Take a leap of faith, and make yourself vulnerable.
5) Listen to your body. It knows what time you should wake up in the morning.
- 6/27/03
Which leads me to the conclusion that theatre majors really do have more fun.
- 6/28/03
"Why can't welders come with erasers?" - Mikey
"That's gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous." - Tayneshia
- 7/3/03
Shannon: I'll buy all of you guys beer next week.
John: Before or after the show?
Me: Both.
Jeanne: It doesn't really matter.
John: We couldn't make things look any worse.
- 7/5/03
Why did I come to Utah? Who's doing the influencing and who's being influenced? How did I get in over my head, and how do I get out? Do I get out? What I just heard tonight in the past hour made my worst moments at Holy Cross look like a party; and so what if I watched a man die last year? It's nothing. But I don't know if I can do this. I love you, but I am so numbed by all of this. This day...from "trying to find where selfishness and self-respect divide", to falling down a cliff and my own self-destruction, to my best friend's misery, and to my future hopes shattered to unfortunate pasts. Unfortunate pasts. Will these ghosts ever go away?
- 7/14/03
"I know you'll be here when I need a shoulder to cry on cuz i gave myself a black eye on the bathtub or broke another window with my ass and got glass stuck in it."
- 7/15/03
I know he needs to fly, and so do I. I'm going to miss him very much...but I regret nothing that has happened, and I would do it all over again if I had the chance. I've shared in memories that I will never forget...the trip to first dam...when you told me you loved me...the look on your face when I bought you flowers for your birthday. I knew that love had to be much deeper, and I found it.
- 7/22/03
My one complaint to God when I get to heaven is, why couldn't He have come up with a better form of reproduction? I have cramps the size of Montana.
- 9/1/03
We still talk about the past a lot...still a lot to get out in the open, a lot to come to terms with. But I'm glad we're getting this resolution. If our past relationship together...if the horrible break-up...and even if our current and future relationships are to have any meaning, we have to complete this circle.
- 9/7/03
Yay for Alan Rickman in a dress!
- 11/15/03
Me and Corrie are now the proud owners of a kitten (yes, again.). It's cute. It's name is Cream Puff Hufflepuff, the Puff. (aka Puffy McPuffalot.)
- 11/21/03
Me: "Yeah, it was a 4.5"
Corrie: "Listen to us, we're all proud of our earthquake...I wonder what the people in California would think."
Me: " 'We've got aftershocks bigger than that...' "
- 12/10/03
[Krayola] how do you know its honey chicken
[D1webmaster] well...i order it and they hand it to me
[D1webmaster] and i look at it
[D1webmaster] and i say...damn...honey chicken
[Valdyr] wow, that was profound, Lance
[D1webmaster] yep
[D1webmaster] deep thoughts
[Valdyr] by D1 Webmaster
- 1/18/04
Zeta Vande: so for the third time, when are you coming to visit?
Zeta Vande: lmao
Zeta Vande: I'm impatient
mindbinge: i dunno...when u want it?
mindbinge: lmao
Zeta Vande: LMAO
Zeta Vande: "it"???
Zeta Vande: lmao
Zeta Vande: yeah...
mindbinge: let me guess...blog?
Zeta Vande: hahahahahaha
Zeta Vande: I wasn't thinking that, but that's a good suggestion
- 2/12/04
skunk1skunk2: ur not sposed to tell her about me
skunk1skunk2: u give her all these bad ideas
Zeta Vande: hey, I can't ruin chances you never even had, LMAO
- 2/16/04
Spladam84: rad sheeyat
Zeta Vande: lmao....there you go with your quasi-ghettoness
- 2/21/04
me: did Thorn call back?
Lance: yeah
me: rotflmao
Lance: he was just like...wtf was that all about?
me: LMAO
me: what'd you tell him?
Lance: i said...i got ball smacked
- 4/6/04
In response to an email I received today:
Lance: "Write him a poem back; 'If I was a dog and you were a flower...'"
- 4/10/04
I would also like to take this time and say that it is really scary how much of the content on collegehumor.com is from VA Tech. Go Hokies?
- 4/13/04
I'd also really like to share some love to everyone who has improved my life in so many ways, especially: Dana, Jeremiah, Steve, Lance, Lou, Corrie, Heather, Katherine, Danica, Skunk, and everyone else who has stuck by me in my times of need. I wouldn't be here today if it were not for you.
And now...(drum role)...the last few years in review...
I'm getting ready for Prom tomorrow...in that I'm still trying to figure out which dress I look the least ugly in. Ick. That's the thing about being an amazon super-chick techie...buff doesn't look good dressed up. Gimme my blue jeans. Just kidding, Dana...seriously, I'm wearing a dress, I promise.
- 5/10/02
I believe I've been in the sun long enough to no longer qualify as 'blindingly white'.
- 5/20/02
Hey, at least a pelican didn't dive-bomb your foot.
- 5/23/02
And, seriously, is anyone else being bombarded by National Honory Society this and National Fraternity that? Like, if I joined all of these things I'd be entitled to wear the entire Greek alphabet.
- 6/22/02
"One time, I stole some toliet paper from the janitors' closet. I felt real bad about it, but I was all out at home..." - Millet, "Fuddy Meers"
- 6/28/02
Everytime I talk to you, I feel like I'm a little closer to heaven.
- 7/1/02
[d1jay] I gotta go in 2 minutes. sorry to cut it short tonight. life's a bitch and so is my x.
- 7/27/02
You know, recently I've been doing really well with the whole being in 'unrequited love' thing. I guess once you've been doing it so long, you get used to it eventually. Actually, it's probably just knowing that things are ok with me and you now...knowing that I'm forgiven...that made me so much more peaceful. But somewhere it has to break sometimes.
I miss you.
- 8/8/02
[Orion-Working] Damn small town shits.. Shooting armadillos in their yard.
- 8/20/02
A few minutes ago, I received an email from my director about a church protesting The Laramie Project in Maryland. Because, obviously, God doesn't love gay people. I hope they come down here and protest our production of it too, because I have a thing or two to say about Christian hiprocrisy. Do you really think insult and death is an effective ministry? ORGANIZED RELIGION IS GOD'S BIGGEST ENEMY.
- 9/12/02
Heather - Today's advice for Dana: DUH!!!
- 10/1/02
LTek1: DO NOT throw a party and drink champagne and carouse merrily while in the lift.
Zeta Vande: oh, but that takes all the fun out of it
LTek1: hahaha
Zeta Vande: I mean, what else would you do with the lift?
Zeta Vande: lol
LTek1: Song and dance numbers.
- 11/15/02
Me: Oh, joy, there's a pep rally for the football team this week.
Heather: I'm gonna eat the Hokie Bird for Thanksgiving.
- 11/17/02
[GC] he's acted like a retard on national tv several times
[GC] u just did it once on his answering machine
- 1/5/03
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- 1/19/03
Jeremiah: Do you think if we cut off his head, anyone would notice?
Me: Probably not, he'd still be talking out of his ass.
- 1/28/03
All along in Human Rites rehearsal we've been encourage to be honest with each other. I was honest Thursday night about my concerns, and I ended up isolated on one side of the room and faced with an amount of ridicule and hatred that I have not seen in a long time. I was not in rehearsal Thursday night, but rather I was back in 8th grade at Holy Cross in 1st period science class with the rest of the students laughing at me, and my teachers standing by...one perpetuating it, and the other letting it happen. Six years and sixty miles away from that day, it's saddening to see how little has changed. Yeah, I'm damaged, and I think you all can understand why I cannot walk back into that room and make myself vulnerable to you again.
In regards to my original concern about our subject matter, I think the overall problem is that I couldn't even effectively communicate what was bothering me to begin with. I honestly believe that all of you have innocent motives in this matter and don't wish to hurt others, and I think that if you could have understood what I've begun to learn about people in the past two years, that you would have accepted my feelings about this, even if you didn't agree. The problem is, if I continued with this show in the current circumstances, you'd either be forcing me into a lie, or I'd be forcing you into one, and either way we'd all suffer. I'm not saying that I have the absolute right or anything, but I do know that in this case, we all believe what we believe to be true, but they're not the same things, and that would read on stage. Our goal was to present 'the question' without any sway. But when I was there, we couldn't agree on how to present that question to begin with in that matter...so if anything, I ask all of you to take this with you: Whenever you make a choice in this show, really consider whether it is innocent or not. One of the comments that night was if we continued the way I was thinking, we would get so broad that 'human' could define nothing. I couldn't agree more, and that made me realize that I shouldn't be doing a show with this subject matter, and I am truly sorry I didn't realize that sooner. I wish all of you the best of success, and I promise that I will not show up in the production in another other capacity to influence the direction of the show.
In regards to the comment about offending people, in general I don't have any problem offending people. I don't have a problem taking a social, religious, or politcal stance. In 'The Laramie Project', I hope that homophobics like Fred Phelps, Jr. were offended. In 'The Vagina Monologues', I hope that men who beat their wives were offended. But more importantly, I hope that those people were really made to consider their actions and mindset. I do not think it's acceptable to offend people just because of our own ignorance. Especially in this show, where we are talking about human equality and respect as one of our interests.
As for the comment about "it's just a show", well, for all of the better ways I can say it, I'll just stick with: Fuck You. I know, I know, it's your goddamn right to choose to do theatre for soley entertainment purposes, and that's between you and your morals - but I think it's sickening to take a show like this, and to look at it at it's best as a mainstage with a 3 week run. To each their own, but I look at theatre as something I do because I had to do it...not because I want a life of richness and fame.
In any case, it is true that I have resigned from all of my shows this semester. I'm very sorry to all of you that I left like this, especially to Bob and Susanna. But more importantly, in the words of Alanis, I'm sorry to myself. I'm sorry that I've been living my life like everything is fine when it's not. When I first found out a year ago how sick I was, I decided that I wasn't gonna let it stop me; that I wasn't going to roll over in bed and wait to die. But instead, I did the complete opposite and I ignored my limitations, both physically and mentaly, and pushed myself constantly to somehow prove myself. I look back over this past year and I wonder what did that accomplished? I have lists of awards, shows, good grades, and other accomplishments...and no good memories. Every good show had the price of sleepless nights. I have all this resume, but at what cost? I woke up Friday morning and realized that theatre is no longer worth it. I shouldn't be sitting here in pain planning on waiting another 5 days to take some medication so that I can optimize my health for the Jacques Brel run. My priorities have gotten really screwed up along the way, and I'm taking back my health and my sanity.
This has been a long time in coming, and it's about time I stopped. When will I start again...honestly I don't know. Right now the plan is to (reasonably) get myself back into things next semester. But right now, I'm also pursuing the option of not coming back. For a long time theatre has meant a lot to me, but I can say that at this moment, I don't wanna walk into a theater for a long time to come. I'm scared, but I trust that God is right here beside me, and that if I'm staring into the face of a major life change, that I can do that. I'd ask all of you to be praying for me to have the strength for His intervention.
- 2/2/03
You've got your own blessed sense of huberis...there's nothing I could do to you that would be any worse than what we do to ourselves.
- 2/5/03
[Nad] goodnight loug
*** Signoff by D1Lou detected
[Digital] loug
[Valdyr] LMAO
[Digital] lmao
[Nad] i'm glad he wasn't here to see me say loug
- 2/6/03
My spoon is too big.
- 2/11/03
* Valdyr pushes Lou back on the bed and has her way with him
[Valdyr] I'm tired of boys! I wanna real man!
[Valdyr] ok, I'm done
[Valdyr] LMAO
[D1Lou] Oh My God you guys are insane tonight
[Nad] no, just val
[GC] VAL!
[GC] get off my papa!
[GC] little girls aren't supposed to walk in on stuff like that happenin to their papa's!
[Valdyr] LMAO
[Valdyr] you can call me 'Ma' from now on, LMAO
* Nad blinks
[Valdyr] (darth vader voice) GC, I am your mother's uncle's sister's chia pet
- 2/25/03
And we all know that Salem is a white Protestant Republican football-lovin' town stuck in the '50's.
- 3/2/03
Homework is an insult to my intelligence
- 3/17/03
You know, when I went to talk to Ema earlier this week, and I expressed the thought that I didn't want to hurt the cast by being involved conceptually in the show, she said she'd like to see me come in and say 'fuck you'. For the show, that's not really my stance, but in a larger sense to life in general, fuck you. Everyone. Here I am beating myself up for your sake...as if it was my fault. In the face of all of this...every situation I'm dealing with right now...being nice, friendly, considerate, respectful is NOT my responsibility to you, but rather my gift. Because I am special, I am worth something, and I personally am better than these ordeals, and I choose to make it easier. I do not owe any of you anything. So stop taking my love and spiritual values for granted...they come from a Greater Power that I choose to follow on these events...not because of any redeeming quality that you possess.
- 3/17/03
* Nad_Trashed moves up on veal
[Nad_Trashed] val
[Valdyr] veal?
[Valdyr] LMAO
[S] val i think nad just called u a piece of meat
- 3/19/03
Nad0725: would it be too mean of an april fools joke to shit on my roommate's pillow?
Zeta Vande: no
Zeta Vande: not at all
- 4/1/03
We all dig our own graves, only some do it quicker than others. Tonight I will sleep VERY well. Anger is not a sin. You just have to decide what you do with it.
- 4/10/03
Been keeping company with apathy lately
Forsaken all of my friends
Personal vulnerability simply isn't worth it
Besides, what are you putting up?
I don't mean to be so suspicious
But you see I've been hanging out with bitterness
And I just changed the deadbolts and the locks
Your pounding on the door keeps me up all night
I just had dinner with resentment
And I met vengeance for a night cap
I'll be sleeping with blame tonight
Don't plan on me remembering to call you tomorrow
Been keeping company with apathy
Been keeping company with apathy lately and I don't care
I don't care
I don't care this time
- The Last Laugh, "Deadbolt"
- 4/15/03
* D1Lou loves val back and i've missed you.
I missed you guys too...It's just hard this time around.
- 4/29/03
Is it possible that I superimposed my own bitterness on those best fit to help me?
- 5/2/03
Tonight should be remembered as attack of the killer horse flys.
- 5/13/03
You know, people used to tease me about my affinity for Star Trek, but seriously, in watching these re-runs, I realize just how much of a moral impact they did have on my social development (especially considering what I was dealing with at school back then).
"One society's general is another society's terrorist."
"I saw my problems as challenges to overcome, as opposed to obstacles to avoid."
Maybe we'd get world peace if we all watched the entire TNG series.
- 5/23/03
"What we have now is great, and I still feel that what we could have is beautiful."
- 6/2/03
Keep it real with yourself and with God - the only two people you can't lie to.
- 6/17/03
No Expectations, No Regrets.
- 6/24/03
I had a really great conversation with the props master today about my career. It's nice to be on the same ground with someone in terms of making life choices.
When I left VT this semester, I knew that this summer was going to make or break theatre for me. And I've come to the conclusion that if I can be this satisfied and have this much fun when things are going this badly (in terms of basic theatre logic) that this is exactly where I need to be. I mean, I'm working like 14 hour days, getting 5 hours of sleep at the most, being stepped on, criticized, and inconvenienced - and it's ok. It seriously is ok.
I have met the best people and the worst people in my life in theatre. There are a few people here that I can't stand; but there are a few people here that I've met that have dramatically improved the quality of my existence. And that's what it came down to - I am satisfied.
I also realized that there were a few choices I made that have drastically altered my perception of life within the few weeks that I've been here:
1) Trust God. He's gonna provide what you need when He's supposed to, so just be patient.
2) The only part of life you can control is your own perception of the situation and how you respond to it.
3) Don't internalize your work. Job stress shouldn't go home with you.
4) Don't be afraid to make a hard choice. Whether it means standing up for yourself, getting involved in a relationship, or just hopping on a plane and flying across the country for a summer job. Take a leap of faith, and make yourself vulnerable.
5) Listen to your body. It knows what time you should wake up in the morning.
- 6/27/03
Which leads me to the conclusion that theatre majors really do have more fun.
- 6/28/03
"Why can't welders come with erasers?" - Mikey
"That's gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous." - Tayneshia
- 7/3/03
Shannon: I'll buy all of you guys beer next week.
John: Before or after the show?
Me: Both.
Jeanne: It doesn't really matter.
John: We couldn't make things look any worse.
- 7/5/03
Why did I come to Utah? Who's doing the influencing and who's being influenced? How did I get in over my head, and how do I get out? Do I get out? What I just heard tonight in the past hour made my worst moments at Holy Cross look like a party; and so what if I watched a man die last year? It's nothing. But I don't know if I can do this. I love you, but I am so numbed by all of this. This day...from "trying to find where selfishness and self-respect divide", to falling down a cliff and my own self-destruction, to my best friend's misery, and to my future hopes shattered to unfortunate pasts. Unfortunate pasts. Will these ghosts ever go away?
- 7/14/03
"I know you'll be here when I need a shoulder to cry on cuz i gave myself a black eye on the bathtub or broke another window with my ass and got glass stuck in it."
- 7/15/03
I know he needs to fly, and so do I. I'm going to miss him very much...but I regret nothing that has happened, and I would do it all over again if I had the chance. I've shared in memories that I will never forget...the trip to first dam...when you told me you loved me...the look on your face when I bought you flowers for your birthday. I knew that love had to be much deeper, and I found it.
- 7/22/03
My one complaint to God when I get to heaven is, why couldn't He have come up with a better form of reproduction? I have cramps the size of Montana.
- 9/1/03
We still talk about the past a lot...still a lot to get out in the open, a lot to come to terms with. But I'm glad we're getting this resolution. If our past relationship together...if the horrible break-up...and even if our current and future relationships are to have any meaning, we have to complete this circle.
- 9/7/03
Yay for Alan Rickman in a dress!
- 11/15/03
Me and Corrie are now the proud owners of a kitten (yes, again.). It's cute. It's name is Cream Puff Hufflepuff, the Puff. (aka Puffy McPuffalot.)
- 11/21/03
Me: "Yeah, it was a 4.5"
Corrie: "Listen to us, we're all proud of our earthquake...I wonder what the people in California would think."
Me: " 'We've got aftershocks bigger than that...' "
- 12/10/03
[Krayola] how do you know its honey chicken
[D1webmaster] well...i order it and they hand it to me
[D1webmaster] and i look at it
[D1webmaster] and i say...damn...honey chicken
[Valdyr] wow, that was profound, Lance
[D1webmaster] yep
[D1webmaster] deep thoughts
[Valdyr] by D1 Webmaster
- 1/18/04
Zeta Vande: so for the third time, when are you coming to visit?
Zeta Vande: lmao
Zeta Vande: I'm impatient
mindbinge: i dunno...when u want it?
mindbinge: lmao
Zeta Vande: LMAO
Zeta Vande: "it"???
Zeta Vande: lmao
Zeta Vande: yeah...
mindbinge: let me guess...blog?
Zeta Vande: hahahahahaha
Zeta Vande: I wasn't thinking that, but that's a good suggestion
- 2/12/04
skunk1skunk2: ur not sposed to tell her about me
skunk1skunk2: u give her all these bad ideas
Zeta Vande: hey, I can't ruin chances you never even had, LMAO
- 2/16/04
Spladam84: rad sheeyat
Zeta Vande: lmao....there you go with your quasi-ghettoness
- 2/21/04
me: did Thorn call back?
Lance: yeah
me: rotflmao
Lance: he was just like...wtf was that all about?
me: LMAO
me: what'd you tell him?
Lance: i said...i got ball smacked
- 4/6/04
In response to an email I received today:
Lance: "Write him a poem back; 'If I was a dog and you were a flower...'"
- 4/10/04
I would also like to take this time and say that it is really scary how much of the content on collegehumor.com is from VA Tech. Go Hokies?
- 4/13/04
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