Yeah, so me and Lance kinda got into it again this morning. I really try, but this situation is just not easy. Anyways, I'm not mad now, but I think I made the right choice by cutting out completely for awhile. He said he can't tell me whether I should stay or leave, so it's completely in my hands. Not really a choice I wanted to make, but I did, and I'm gone. For the rest of the summer at the least. I wanna be friends, but right now when I'm still so attatched and he's still so unaware of how he hurts me on an almost daily basis now...well, it goes back to that self-preservation thing. If I have to be alone, then I'll fucking make it my choice.

"Come here
Pretty please
Can you tell me where I am?
You, won't you say something?
I need to get my bearings
I'm lost
And the shadows keep on changing
And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head
Don't cry
There's always a way
Here in November in this house of leaves
We'll pray
Please, I know it's hard to believe
To see a perfect forest
Through so many splintered trees
You and me
And these shadows keep on changing
And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the promises I've made
And others I have broken
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head
Hallways...always
I'll always love you
I'll always need you
I'll always want you
And I will always miss you
Come here
No I won't say please
One more look at the ghost
Before I'm gonna make it leave
Come here
I've got the pieces here
Time to gather up the splinters
Build a casket for my tears
I'm haunted
(By the lives that I have loved)
I'm haunted
(By the promises I've made)
I'm haunted
By the hallways in this tiny room
The echos there of me and you
The voices that are carrying this tune
(You think I'll cry? I won't cry!
My heart will break before I cry!
I will go mad.)
- Poe, "Haunted"

Song of the Day: Jimmie's Chicken Shack - "Leech" www.jimmieschickenshack.net