So I feel much more, err, lighter today...I guess sometimes you just have to be "emotionally sick" to get some things out of your system...maybe I'd call it emotional poisoning? I sure feel like it sometimes.

I'm not going to apologize for who I am. Some things have happened in my life that really cut to the core of me, and it hurts. You're listening to the ramblings of a wounded animal. You may not feel the way I do, but goddammit you've got to respect what I'm going through. The way I act may not be "correct" or "logical" or even fair sometimes. But for once just think about what I just had to deal with, and understand that a broken heart doesn't speak sense sometimes.

I'm not complacent here. I am trying to change. But those changes don't happen over night. If they did, how much would any of this have really meant? I can't promise anyone that last night won't repeat itself. I'm certainly not trying to be like this, but at the same time it's not fair to me for anyone to ask that I just let this go and "be happy". Past experiences have made me who I am today. These experiences will help dictate who I am in the future. If you're going to be my friend, you've gotta take the good and the bad.

If you can't take the heat then get the fuck up out of the kitchen. I'm willing to work on this and see this through and done with. So I need to know who's not afraid to stand with me, and who needs to go. I'm not going to sacrifice myself anymore for the ones who've decided that a friendship with me just isn't comfortable enough.