I criticized myself for "living in a dream" but as it turned out, my reality was the lie and my dream was right on target. Last night was...interesting. Sometimes it's scary how much I know about people, people that I'm only aquainted with, when I was completely mistaken by the person who was closest to me. It's hard to look back now over these past 10 months and figure out if a happy memory really is happy, or if it's all faked too. But no matter now I guess, things have already taken an unusual turn.

Hung out with John all evening. He picked up the songs really well, then showed me a lot of the things he'd come up with. Really cool stuff. His guitar work was more hard rock leaning to metal, but his keys were totally gothed out. Birthday Massacre style. It was awesome. So I really hope this works out.

Afterwards we sat and talked and had some drinks. We talked about relationships a bit, and I guess there's some comfort in listening to other people's problems instead of worrying about your own. I was able to say a lot of the things I was feeling, and felt vindicated.

On the whole, this band is gonna be great for me at least. Derek just uploaded our first song...it's not the best so far, but it will be soon. And there's more on the way, as we'll really get going tomorrow.

And I guess now I have more feul for the fire.