The day is improving, but I'm still feeling bad. You know how I wrote the other day that I had a few people tell me I was scary, or whatever? Well, I've become more aware of my moods, and damn if they're not right. I'm always angry. I get road rage every time I drive (though, I mean, with the way people drive around here that's perfectly legitimate) and during the day I'm constantly dwelling on angry scenes with people...sometimes not even real confrontations, just things that I think might happen, or wish would happen, or whatever.

So where do I go from here? First of all, some people might be concerned that this could lead to health problems. Being agitated all the time, sure. But the last time I went to the doctor I was told that if my blood pressure was any lower I'd be legally dead. So no worries on that front. But I think the thing that gets me the most is - if I looked into some sort of medication, would I lose my drive? What happens when I get really angry at someone? Well, I work even harder to prove that I'm better. I don't want to lose that. I have to be able to keep going like I have been. Maybe I better just get used to being alone if I want to be able to continue to respect myself.

At least I'm aware of this now. Maybe just a conscious effort to let things go is all I need.

I don't know why I'm even posting this. Kinda vulnerable, eh? My dad has a temper like mine, and I hate it. Well, I take that back. His is a lot worse. Heh.

In other news, good things on two fronts: Adam has made me an awesome new logo for the New RAM shirts, AND my jacket from Hot Topic came today. Allllriiiight. And tonight: Episode III midnight showing with Jesse.