So they were cleaning out the props/costumes storage area today, and get this: they found an old portable dimmer system. Colortran, runs 1 or 3 phase, with a small 2 scene preset board to go with it. That sucker is SO mine. And...Laura officially becomes a freelance lighting designer.
We had practice tonight. It was...well, it was. Lots of stuff going on that I'm not even gonna post here.
Had some good talks with some people today, and really over the last few days in general about some of the recent events in my life. I've come to the conclusion that I've ignored some pretty important lessons, which I obviously didn't learn the first time around. These last few relationships I've been in have been perpetuating a cycle that ends here. Over the past few years, I've flopped back and forth between men who do everything, and men who do nothing. There's been no middle ground. I think we all in some ways attatch ourselves to the romantic ideals that in true love money doesn't matter, time spent doesn't matter, that you'll do anything for love, etc., but I'm realizing now, that that's a load of shit. No, you shouldn't be counting every penny, and you should be patient, but there comes a point when it just gets absurd.
I'm over feeling bad about it...I've taken guys' generosity for granted in the past, and I'm sorry. I've given too much of myself to other guys in the past, and I've forgiven myself for it. From now on, it's 50/50. If I am going to learn to pay attention and appreciate the little things, then the big things need to take care of themselves.
I've had some of the best experiences of my life in the past few years. Whether it was laying out in the sun by the New River, jetskiing on a still lake in Utah, driving over the mountains in southwest Virginia, or cuddling in a small bed in Fairfax, I have some memories I'll never forgot. Whenever I do decide to get back into relationship, it will be with someone who can both pull his weight and let me pull mine; and have Jeremiah's gentlemanly preference, Steve's adventurous ambition, Lance's energetic humor, and Jacob's comforting calm. :-)
I have loved you all more than you could ever know.
We had practice tonight. It was...well, it was. Lots of stuff going on that I'm not even gonna post here.
Had some good talks with some people today, and really over the last few days in general about some of the recent events in my life. I've come to the conclusion that I've ignored some pretty important lessons, which I obviously didn't learn the first time around. These last few relationships I've been in have been perpetuating a cycle that ends here. Over the past few years, I've flopped back and forth between men who do everything, and men who do nothing. There's been no middle ground. I think we all in some ways attatch ourselves to the romantic ideals that in true love money doesn't matter, time spent doesn't matter, that you'll do anything for love, etc., but I'm realizing now, that that's a load of shit. No, you shouldn't be counting every penny, and you should be patient, but there comes a point when it just gets absurd.
I'm over feeling bad about it...I've taken guys' generosity for granted in the past, and I'm sorry. I've given too much of myself to other guys in the past, and I've forgiven myself for it. From now on, it's 50/50. If I am going to learn to pay attention and appreciate the little things, then the big things need to take care of themselves.
I've had some of the best experiences of my life in the past few years. Whether it was laying out in the sun by the New River, jetskiing on a still lake in Utah, driving over the mountains in southwest Virginia, or cuddling in a small bed in Fairfax, I have some memories I'll never forgot. Whenever I do decide to get back into relationship, it will be with someone who can both pull his weight and let me pull mine; and have Jeremiah's gentlemanly preference, Steve's adventurous ambition, Lance's energetic humor, and Jacob's comforting calm. :-)
I have loved you all more than you could ever know.
 | Song of the Day: Orgy - "Where's Gerrold?" www.punkstatikparanoia.com |
2 Comments:
It is good to see that your learning and growing from your past. Treasure the good times. And here is to hoping you find what your looking for.
Yay! *cuddles*
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