So still sick today, though not as much. Slept in late, then laid around outside for awhile. Jeremiah called to let me know he was getting settled in on his new ship. Said he'd let me and Corrie know what the deal is about our cruise in about a week. So, Bahamas, here we come! Did I mention recently that I love my big brother? Yes, I do!

So while I was outside I popped in JCS's latest cd. It's been awhile since I've listened to it. I used to spin it constantly right after me and Lance broke up. So it was kinda wierd, sitting here a year later and re-listening to it. A lot of stuff has changed in just one year's time. I've graduated, had two jobs, had more relationships, made new friends...burned bridges behind me, loved valiantly and lost, and dealt with life and death on whole new levels.

I think in the end I still come out ahead when all is said and done, but I can't deny that there are some things in my past I still wish I hadn't lost. But I guess inner strength comes when you learn how to accept things for what they've become...and not move on exactly, but learn to live with it.

I guess I was thinking about the past a lot recently, now that my stress levels have gone down, and also since over the last weekend me and Frankie did the whole "life stories" thing, lol. The last time I went that deep into my past I guess was the time me and Jacob had done the same thing almost a year ago. Maybe I should re-examine where I've come from more often, so I can get a better idea of where I'm going.

"I've learned to embrace my fears
and keep most of my demons down
I'm one in a miriad of ghosts
in myself I have found
sometimes I don't feel anything
except the goodness in heart you bring
cannot plan what were going to be
'cause I'm not lost inside...of me
no I'm not lost inside...of me
no you're not lost inside...of me"

Song of the Day: Jimmie's Chicken Shack - "Living With Ghosts" www.jimmieschickenshack.net