There's something about finality...about how you know, things are gone, for good. But finality is necessary for change and growth, and so I move on.
After me and Jacob had that last big blow up I had no interest in dwelling on the failed relationship anymore. It's been a couple of weeks now, but I remember one of the last things he said to me was along the lines of "If you have to hate me, then fine." He was, of course, alluding to the fact that I had in a way made myself hate Lance for a time so that I could get over him. I thought maybe I'd have to do that here, too.
I was wrong. I didn't 'have' to hate him to get over him. I hate him, because, well, I truly lost all respect for him after the way things were handled. There was no force; once he showed his true feelings and the total lack of emotion he had for me, I was well on my way on.
I kept telling him that I didn't think he was a bad person, but that he was making bad choices. He said that he felt like he was a bad person anyways, and at the time I didn't really want to think that, but ironically enough I found the answer in The Chamber of Secrets. The last movie we watched together. Dumbledore tells Harry that it is not our talents that define us but our choices. I don't think Jacob is inherently a bad person. I don't think he ever intended to hurt me or anyone else. But he's weak. He consistantly decides to do what is easiest, rather than what is right. And yes, that makes you a bad person.
I can't respect someone like that, and I certainly don't involve myself with people with such awful moral value. I thought that in a few months I could come back and me and him could be friends, but I was wrong. The man I fell in love with almost a year ago is not the person he truly turned out to be, and that's always such a sad thing to find out.
So I spent a few minutes this morning and removed him as a friend from all my online accounts. I had noticed he had already pulled down his support for RAM on a few sites, so I imagine he's feeling the same way. He will be the first guy I've dated that I never resolved with, and you know what? That's ok. I'm over it.
After me and Jacob had that last big blow up I had no interest in dwelling on the failed relationship anymore. It's been a couple of weeks now, but I remember one of the last things he said to me was along the lines of "If you have to hate me, then fine." He was, of course, alluding to the fact that I had in a way made myself hate Lance for a time so that I could get over him. I thought maybe I'd have to do that here, too.
I was wrong. I didn't 'have' to hate him to get over him. I hate him, because, well, I truly lost all respect for him after the way things were handled. There was no force; once he showed his true feelings and the total lack of emotion he had for me, I was well on my way on.
I kept telling him that I didn't think he was a bad person, but that he was making bad choices. He said that he felt like he was a bad person anyways, and at the time I didn't really want to think that, but ironically enough I found the answer in The Chamber of Secrets. The last movie we watched together. Dumbledore tells Harry that it is not our talents that define us but our choices. I don't think Jacob is inherently a bad person. I don't think he ever intended to hurt me or anyone else. But he's weak. He consistantly decides to do what is easiest, rather than what is right. And yes, that makes you a bad person.
I can't respect someone like that, and I certainly don't involve myself with people with such awful moral value. I thought that in a few months I could come back and me and him could be friends, but I was wrong. The man I fell in love with almost a year ago is not the person he truly turned out to be, and that's always such a sad thing to find out.
So I spent a few minutes this morning and removed him as a friend from all my online accounts. I had noticed he had already pulled down his support for RAM on a few sites, so I imagine he's feeling the same way. He will be the first guy I've dated that I never resolved with, and you know what? That's ok. I'm over it.
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