I mean, wtf?

So I'm getting ready to go to work and eating lunch and all that, and my mom is noticable upset. But she likes to drag things out and doesn't talk about anything until she can get that dramatic pause in. So, finally, she tells me out of the blue that she thinks I'm suicidal. (*insert my jaw dropping here*) What? I'm thinking, yeah, ok, I don't talk to you at all about anything, but uh, when have I ever? And why do you care? So I'm trying to figure out what I might have done to make her think that, and finally, it comes out: lately I've been wearing more accessories, right? (See post below). So uh, she thinks because I wear more bracelets now that I must be trying to cover up some scars. Jesus Christ!

This is the second time this year I've been accused of being self-destructive. Yes, I've had a bad past. And yes, this year has blown in a bad way. But, I mean, wow.

Let me just clarify this. Dispite everything I've done and everything I've been through, I have a faith that has and will withstand it all. I can't look back at all that I've experienced so far in this life and not think that God doesn't have something special planned for me. Not to sound full of myself or pretentious, but I believe everyone is put here for a specific reason, and that we will not die until we've accomplished that purpose. I may not understand everything right now, or know why things that I thought were right haven't worked out. But one day I will, and I have to trust in that. I do trust in that. There's nothing to fear.

"Breathing is really cool, and I love my life
Every reason in the world to be smiling..."
- Jimmie's Chicken Shack, "Smiling"