Taking a break here while they work on some dialect downstairs. I tell ya, there's nothing worse than bad Southern actors failing in their attempts to do an Irish accent.

I tried to sleep in today, being this was one of my first quasi-evening shifts, but with the neighbor's kids outside playing before the bus came by at 7, the neighbor herself insisting on having loud phone conversations outside at 9, and my mom waking me up wondering why I wasn't at work at 11, things just didn't go too well. So I got up finally, went over to the hotel to get my hand rescanned which was a total bust since no one seems to know what the hell is going on over there. So I ended up killing some time by talking to John and Dave for awhile. Dave asked me how I was doing and we talked for awhile about things.

And I'm thinking, damn. You know, I am pretty depressed about just about everything now.

NOTHING is working out. There are major problems at home to the point that I'm going to have to move out for these last three months, and of course this comes right in the middle of my busiest time with two jobs, two shows, and trying to get the hell on with my life. I keep telling myself I need the money, I need the money, but I find it ironic that my bank account is still sinking lower and lower.

My social life is a disaster, of course. Real love is fast becoming an illusion. And I've never felt more isolated in my life. Most of my friends are gone, and far too busy to be bothered with my trite problems. I have never had this much trouble just trying to find a friend to go to the bar with for a few hours to talk. I'm willing to pay, I'm willing to drive...just goddammit will SOMEONE CARE ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE NIGHT?