Well, things are worked out, at least. Long story short, he is indeed attracted to me too, but isn't available. So we're friends, things are cool, life goes on. And you know, that's ok. Because I do get the feeling that he could become a best friend easily if I let him, and really, isn't that more of what I need right now? Wasn't I just telling my big brother and my old man this week that I just don't want to be isolated anymore? Really, that's what I should be aiming for to begin with.
*sigh*
I also just read something on myspace that made me vaguely uneasy. Maybe I'm a little too sure of myself to think that blog might be about me...that one of my friends might have fallen for me without me really realizing it, but there were several things that made me wonder if he was really talking about me...
To close up another story, it's been a couple of weeks now since I've talked to Sean. I even told him this then, but I think this whole situation is just another prime example of how I seem to be good at short encounters with people, and then go on. Of course, I never expected anything to come out of our situation after what happened, but in a way it's kinda of disappointing with the lack of a glorious ending. Not that I miss him, or anything like that. But when two people go through something hugely traumatic like this, there is a bond there, no matter how badly you may not want it to be. In essence, when I forgave him and said I'd try to help him, we pretty much agreed on going on some sort of journey together. I even told at least one person that I think that because I was the one he hurt that that made me in some ways the best person to help him. So I guess I'm disappointed (though not surprised) that now that things have calmed down - and that I've essentially let him off the hook - that there is no more hint at change in him. However, I don't think he'll ever do this again. I think, at the very least, he does realize the directions I COULD have taken, and he knows he got lucky. Not to put myself on a pedistal, but he knows I pulled his nuts out of the fire, literally and figuratively. I hope he knows this, anyways. But what really got to me as time got on is that the more me and him talked, the more convinced I became of his lack of integrity and his overwhelming concern about social appearance. And I told him that, straightfoward. So, I hope that maybe one days he figures out what I'm talking about, and cuts the "nice guys finish last" bullshit, because guess what? You're not a nice guy, Sean.
Business is going well, even though I've been too busy to do much more than read emails. I have another band interested in the label, thanks to Cynergy 67 being so excited about being on board. :-) And one of the largest bands I work with may end up on the comp. That would be awesome. So more on those as they develop.
*sigh*
I also just read something on myspace that made me vaguely uneasy. Maybe I'm a little too sure of myself to think that blog might be about me...that one of my friends might have fallen for me without me really realizing it, but there were several things that made me wonder if he was really talking about me...
To close up another story, it's been a couple of weeks now since I've talked to Sean. I even told him this then, but I think this whole situation is just another prime example of how I seem to be good at short encounters with people, and then go on. Of course, I never expected anything to come out of our situation after what happened, but in a way it's kinda of disappointing with the lack of a glorious ending. Not that I miss him, or anything like that. But when two people go through something hugely traumatic like this, there is a bond there, no matter how badly you may not want it to be. In essence, when I forgave him and said I'd try to help him, we pretty much agreed on going on some sort of journey together. I even told at least one person that I think that because I was the one he hurt that that made me in some ways the best person to help him. So I guess I'm disappointed (though not surprised) that now that things have calmed down - and that I've essentially let him off the hook - that there is no more hint at change in him. However, I don't think he'll ever do this again. I think, at the very least, he does realize the directions I COULD have taken, and he knows he got lucky. Not to put myself on a pedistal, but he knows I pulled his nuts out of the fire, literally and figuratively. I hope he knows this, anyways. But what really got to me as time got on is that the more me and him talked, the more convinced I became of his lack of integrity and his overwhelming concern about social appearance. And I told him that, straightfoward. So, I hope that maybe one days he figures out what I'm talking about, and cuts the "nice guys finish last" bullshit, because guess what? You're not a nice guy, Sean.
Business is going well, even though I've been too busy to do much more than read emails. I have another band interested in the label, thanks to Cynergy 67 being so excited about being on board. :-) And one of the largest bands I work with may end up on the comp. That would be awesome. So more on those as they develop.
 | Song of the Day: Celldweller - "Under My Feet" www.celldweller.com |
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