Mnn...sleep...
My crazy work week is now about over; I worked double shifts on Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and then single shifts Monday and today. I will have made about a grand just this week alone. It kicked my ass, but it was so worth it.
Working at the Carter Baron ampitheatre was amazing. Partly because it was a huge rig, and partly because being outside is just great right now. They cooked out for us every day, and we made smores on break. I got a bit of a tan, and a lot of fresh air.
An interesting thing is, my pollen allergies kicked up a bit. Now, in that respect I'm very lucky in comparison to most people: I don't get a runny nose or red eyes, or get cold-like symptoms or any of that. I just sneeze every two minutes. So it's not that bad, just annoying. In any case, I decided to pop a Zyrtec these last few days that my dad had given me for similiar stuff a year or so ago. The sneezing partly subsided, but my skin is almost completely healed in three days.
With everything I've tried, did I really only need a common indoor/outdoor allergy medicine? Heh.
So, the month calms down now to something normal. I do have a few double shifts later this month, but for the most part it's going to be a smooth few weeks. There are only two more days of the show left; I'm gonna miss Gage and everyone a lot, but it's now approaching that time where we've been together a bit too long. After not getting a lot of sleep me and him kinda snapped at each other yesterday. It in itself wasn't a big deal, but it launched a more global conversation about some current problems of mine. I just hate feeling like I'm being taken for granted or used. I try so hard to be kind and caring to people, but then on the flip side people just come to expect it - or worse, think that I owe it to them. I don't mind giving people rides, giving back rubs, buying you a drink, etc., but dammit, someone be nice to me for once, eh?
How was goth prom? No idea, I didn't go. I tried, but after 20 hours of being awake every day for several days, I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I feel bad because Mike had told me he might go, and when I didn't hear from him that evening I figured he had decided not to. But apparently he did, so I feel like an ass, but at least he had other friends there. I was also kind of avoiding seeing someone else who I thought might have been there; I don't know if I would have felt good enough to enjoy the night.
So speaking of feeling used, heh...I just don't know what to say. On one hand, I made enough money for my vacation this week as planned. And I've always wanted to go visit California, and I do have other friends in the area to see. And I won't deny that it would be awesome to hang out with Josef for a few days.
But for all the fun and distraction of rockstar crushes, I really would prefer something closer to home. But after two weeks of silence...three days was one thing, but two weeks is a slap in the face. I feel really hurt, and a little cheap. I thought at least we were friends? But I don't know. On the other hand, being "too busy" could be perfectly legit. I haven't been out of school that long to forget how insane final projects could be. I remember sitting in Corrie's apartment doing watercolor renderings at 3am. And I haven't seen him online hardly at all. So, maybe this is just me and my insecurities poking through again...
I hope that one of these days I'll meet someone who really will care about me, but after 23 years of isolation, I just don't know.
Anyways, gonna get caught up on some badly neglected email before I go to work...focusing on my business is sometimes all you can do, eh?
My crazy work week is now about over; I worked double shifts on Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and then single shifts Monday and today. I will have made about a grand just this week alone. It kicked my ass, but it was so worth it.
Working at the Carter Baron ampitheatre was amazing. Partly because it was a huge rig, and partly because being outside is just great right now. They cooked out for us every day, and we made smores on break. I got a bit of a tan, and a lot of fresh air.
An interesting thing is, my pollen allergies kicked up a bit. Now, in that respect I'm very lucky in comparison to most people: I don't get a runny nose or red eyes, or get cold-like symptoms or any of that. I just sneeze every two minutes. So it's not that bad, just annoying. In any case, I decided to pop a Zyrtec these last few days that my dad had given me for similiar stuff a year or so ago. The sneezing partly subsided, but my skin is almost completely healed in three days.
With everything I've tried, did I really only need a common indoor/outdoor allergy medicine? Heh.
So, the month calms down now to something normal. I do have a few double shifts later this month, but for the most part it's going to be a smooth few weeks. There are only two more days of the show left; I'm gonna miss Gage and everyone a lot, but it's now approaching that time where we've been together a bit too long. After not getting a lot of sleep me and him kinda snapped at each other yesterday. It in itself wasn't a big deal, but it launched a more global conversation about some current problems of mine. I just hate feeling like I'm being taken for granted or used. I try so hard to be kind and caring to people, but then on the flip side people just come to expect it - or worse, think that I owe it to them. I don't mind giving people rides, giving back rubs, buying you a drink, etc., but dammit, someone be nice to me for once, eh?
How was goth prom? No idea, I didn't go. I tried, but after 20 hours of being awake every day for several days, I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I feel bad because Mike had told me he might go, and when I didn't hear from him that evening I figured he had decided not to. But apparently he did, so I feel like an ass, but at least he had other friends there. I was also kind of avoiding seeing someone else who I thought might have been there; I don't know if I would have felt good enough to enjoy the night.
So speaking of feeling used, heh...I just don't know what to say. On one hand, I made enough money for my vacation this week as planned. And I've always wanted to go visit California, and I do have other friends in the area to see. And I won't deny that it would be awesome to hang out with Josef for a few days.
But for all the fun and distraction of rockstar crushes, I really would prefer something closer to home. But after two weeks of silence...three days was one thing, but two weeks is a slap in the face. I feel really hurt, and a little cheap. I thought at least we were friends? But I don't know. On the other hand, being "too busy" could be perfectly legit. I haven't been out of school that long to forget how insane final projects could be. I remember sitting in Corrie's apartment doing watercolor renderings at 3am. And I haven't seen him online hardly at all. So, maybe this is just me and my insecurities poking through again...
I hope that one of these days I'll meet someone who really will care about me, but after 23 years of isolation, I just don't know.
Anyways, gonna get caught up on some badly neglected email before I go to work...focusing on my business is sometimes all you can do, eh?
 | Song of the Day: Defy - "Happiness Wasn't Meant For Me" www.defy.com |
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